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I need to start doing this with marketing crap. Except just rocks. Heavy, heavy rocks.
“small boulder” just say rock vro 🥀🥀🥀
I used to get a ton of garbage mail at an apartment i lived at. I’d just take as many of the coupon booklets from my box, jam them into one of those return envelops, and stuff it back into the outgoing mail box.
All spam should be responded to in kind.
WITH EXTREME PREJUDICE
Reminds me of a webcomic I used to read where the mad scientistesque physics student realized he could use the lead bricks he’d been using to prop open doors for exactly this purpose.
That’s actually a large boulder; it’s just the size of a small boulder.
I like that boulder. That is a nice boulder.
We won’t ever know unless they included a fresh banana for size.
Got any Carlos?
We can do that?
Do I just take it to the post office?
It wouldn’t surprise me if one slipped through, there are overrides on stuff that get rejected and USPS is a massive organization with millions of parcels moving at any given moment.
This idea came from people mailing wooden shims back to the credit card companies because it would increase the postage cost over the normal weight… Please don’t do that though. Letters go through a Dr. Seuss Esque sorter system and the shims are too sturdy and sometimes get ripped out of the mail and shot across the facility…
This … feels like you are telling me to go for it.
Feel free to stuff as much paper as you can fit, it’s just wood, plastics and the like that are too rigid for the machines to handle sometimes. USPS gets money for return mailing, so it’s a benfit to them as long as shims or pieces of plastic arent flying around the facility like a bullet.
No, this is fake. You can put whatever you want in the envelope and send it back, but they won’t deliver a whole package. They only prepaid postage for a letter.
Of course if you send something dangerous/threatening you might get arrested.
I’ma print out a goatse and mail it to them.
You’d just be traumatizing some low level data entry employee.
If you work for the empire, you gonna see some shit
Even better, print some anti-empire propaganda.
Give the low-level employee some ideas to quit giving their life to the empire.
Pro-union literature
That is a Fight Club level idea. Radicalize the data entry workers.
The fight club idea was bombing a bunch of banks. This idea is mailing propaganda. These things are different.
People don’t take those jobs as a choice.
USPS is using slave labor?!
Credit card companies are. USPS doesn’t have data entry people who would open the package.
I fart in the envelopes then they are like ‘yay someone wants our credit card OH NO ITS FARTS!’
I know/hope this is a joke but people used to do this at an independent, third party, mail sorting place I worked at as a teenager.
They’d mail all sorts of shit (both literal and figurative) and it was basically handled by one guy who seemed ok with it but was definitely not ok.
Mail them lead, weights, whatever. But please, no matter how despicable the company, there’s likely some at very least mildly abused worker who is just trying to earn a wage and has to deal with the vile shit people try to punish companies with.
Wouldn’t a lead weight cost you more than it costs them? Lead is reasonably expensive.
Ok, rocks or whatever junk you have laying around.
This. Your mail isn’t going to be opened by the CEO. Hurt the business, not the worker. Mail them a box of rocks or something, the company will pay postage on it and the minimum wage guy opening packages will laugh.
Basically the same thing they do when they send these things in unmarked envelopes.
I read this as you wrote it: “its farts”, like the envelope has farts, vs “it is farts”. Both are technically correct, but seems so much funnier that way.
Aaaah pink eye!
Friendly reminder.
Make sure that you use a box with no identifying information. Scribbling out the barcodes isnt enough.
Mailing restrictions still apply. Mailing them back rotting fish or potentially hazardous materials is a federal offence.
Mailing any kind of threat is also against the law.
Is there a legal limit on the amount of farts I can put into an envelope?
Edit: I guess this really depends on the consistency of each fart, and the legal threshold of acceptable feces contamination (which can’t be zero). Anyways, does anyone know if they make airtight envelopes?
I sell abdominal gas collection catheters btw
This wouldn’t work, anyway. They only prepay envelope postage, not a box.
A lot of reply paid stuff for large corporations is calculated on weight not on item count, depending on the sorting system used by the country/region in question so this might work sometimes but it depends on a lot of variables.
You can fit a lot of glitter in a envelope.
Calm down there, Satan.
You’d just be annoying some data entry employee.
Wasting their time is wasting their money.
Plus it helps the post office!
If you’re concerned about your anonymity, keep in mind that companies frequently put ID numbers on their return envelopes to help match the returned mail piece with your record in their database. Sometimes the number is invisible (UV ink) so it doesn’t look “mass produced” to the recipient.
Doesn’t help when you use a return postage slip. They have unique codes. Being “just annoying” is probably the safest bet.
When I was in college my roommates and I would open all those offers standing at the mailbox, seal the empty envelopes back up, then put then right back in the mailbox for the carrier to grab the next day (or maybe mail thieves, who knows). We figured just mailing them all back was going to cost something.
I did the same, wrote in the letter for them to suck my balls… They called me back lol
Well… Did they suck your balls?
Unfortunately no
I’m curious what they have to say to that!
When I was first out of college I used to get 8-10 of pre-payed envelopes every week. I kept a PO box for my mail that I would check weekly.
I would have maybe 1 or two pieces of real mail and a full box of junk.
So I started folding up the junk mail I to the 8-10 prepared envelopes every week. This was all done at the counter next to my PO box and dropped mailed back right then.
It was quite cathartic.
IF you’re going to do this, make sure use some sort of sealed package (like the box in the photo). You used to be able to slap these things on like a sheet of plywood and just send it as is but now if the package isn’t sealed and is obvious misuse the post office can just throw it in the dumpster. If its a sealed package then the post office has to deliver it and the permit holder has to pay the charges. https://about.usps.com/postal-bulletin/2019/pb22525/html/updt_001.htm
Like 70lbs of neutronium in a USPS flat rate box?
Considering the density of neutronium, a 70 lb piece would be about the size of a dust mote, if not much smaller. Good luck getting a standard box to hold something that small and dense.
The joke here is that neutronium might be the only substance dense enough to actually weigh 70lbs and still be able to fit into a flat rate box, which has set dimensions and a limit of 70lbs.
Hmm… Where can I get a bunch of tungsten? 🤔
Amazon. Their rings are pretty cheap.
Huh. I should try this with the old refrigerator in my basement that I’ve been needing to get rid of.
If it wasn’t shitty towards the post office people I would support it.
But under 10 lbs…
Sadly we have a weight and size limit on these, but if you can load a mini fridge and keep it under 70lbs it should be accepted.
Legally this is not shipping advice and purely a shitpost
Shiptost.
There is no way that those prepaid postage meant for a letter is gonna be good for 70lb.
The postal service has to have lower cost optionsThat’s the business’ risk for sending those prepaid envelopes out. From the USPS site itself “[Moreover, when a BRM card or envelope is misused and affixed to a sealed item, the permit holder will be responsible for payment of the applicable Retail postage and per piece fee.]
But it also says
DMM 505.1.4.8, “Labels,” states that in cases when a BRM card or envelope is misused as a BRM label, USPS® treats the item as waste.
BRM cards and envelopes are designed to be mailed as a First-Class Mail card, letter, or flat only, and not as a BRM label to be attached to other items.So I’m still a but fuzzy
So I’m still a butt fuzzy
Weird self-deprecating thing to say, and not sure how it relates, but best wishes with that!
They’re actually not prepaid, they’re counted as postage due at the destination office and either charged to their account automatically or paid at the time of pickup.
There are lower cost options like nonprofit or third class postage, but that’s usually what they’re paying to send out the junk with these business reply envelopes in the first place. Business reply mail AFAIK is charged at the first class postage rates.
I know it’s not technically prepaid.
But it’s wild that the postal service wouldn’t have an option here to only accept letters.
Probably one of those cases where it’s only allowed because there’s no rule specifically forbidding it, and some determined individual figured out it worked one day.
Now you have to cut up your refrigerator into 10lbs pieces
What about the body inside?
Liquify and add to old beverage bottles. Simple and fun for the whole office upon opening!
This is how we save the USPS.
I could be wrong but I think these are prepaid, not paid on delivery…
These are indeed paid on delivery.
I just put another company’s junk mail in their envelope and send it to them so they know how it feels.
Let’s all do our part to help little boulders travel
Glaciers take millions of years to deposit boulders across the land.
Humans: “we can do better.”
If there’s one thing we’re good at, it’s moving rocks around
Are they an invasive species?
They can’t reproduce, should be fine.
Their reproduction cycle is weird but they multiply. Oddly enough all it takes is a couple of sold hits with a hammer and you’ll have a bunch of boulers instead of just one. They’ll be smaller but there will be more of them.
