A full carton of smooth flavor? Your dad must have married into a family of distinction.

We’re all agreed the kid’s favorite song is Sliver, right?

Looks like the same day to me.

Came out not long after I was born. Seems about right.

But then you need the pot to help with the nausea from all the spinning.

“Bash must have solved the fork bomb by now…”

what I do all day

Most people have never even heard of “Project Humpday”

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Red and green is the way to go. You’re great at christmas, you can draw 2/3rds of the bell peppers, and (I presume) you get a discount on baby back, baby back ribs.

Same

Using their tools always empowers them.

Little known fact: cherenkov radiation is only green when it’s making you a hulk. Keep that dog’s tail wagging!

Quick, someone call Stevie Wonder and Paul McCartney!

8. Fisher space pen

I keep one at my desk and have one in my pocket (most of the time).

You’ll never make me break up with beans!

Anyone remember lolcode?

She’s a real go-getter, that one.

I’ve been hearing good things about Nicole17

You’re just mad we all have a girlfriend.