• polle@feddit.org
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    6 days ago

    Thought at first that its a meme about the signal groupchat that was leaked currently and then read its discord and its 1 year old.

  • Sprawl@lemmy.world
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    6 days ago

    Don’t talk shit about people behind their back. It always has a way of getting out because it’s clearly how you feel when their is no filter in place.

  • Mustakrakish@lemmy.world
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    6 days ago

    Derek sounds like a real one. That poster lacks so much situational awareness they’d fall into an open manhole like in a cartoon.

  • Polderviking@feddit.nl
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    6 days ago

    I’ve definitely got some bleak ass humor with some friends in private but forwarding messages people sent you in private to other people and group chats? Really?

    • ameancow@lemmy.world
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      Every parent’s “talk” with their kids should start with “Never say or post anything about yourself on the internet, in any capacity, that you wouldn’t want literally everyone in your life knowing about. Assume everything you type, post or share will be seen by everyone.”

      I would extend that to include even uploading things to private cloud servers and saving things to your own computer. You don’t have to take these precautions, but then it’s on you to deal with consequences of people seeing the things you want to keep private. Sure, there can be bad people who make extra effort to find and share your private things, but if you already covered your bases ahead of time by not saying things you don’t want others to hear, not posting media you don’t want others to see, you can make it almost impossible for people to cause you harm this way. Also, don’t talk about war plans in group chats.

      edit: if you’re one of the kinds of people who read this and feel a reaction of outrage or disappointment that you can’t contain, this means you’re sharing things you shouldn’t and are now getting worried you won’t be able to make yourself out to be a victim when it happens. Don’t get mad at me, I didn’t make these rules, you just never heard them before. Fix your shitty social life and shitty sense of humor.

      • Snowclone@lemmy.world
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        6 days ago

        I have had this exact talk with my kids repeatedly and probably will again ''the internet is a PUBLIC place, if you wouldn’t do or say things you wouldn’t be comfortable doing in the quad at school or in the middle of Walmart, DON’T do it online."

        • ameancow@lemmy.world
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          6 days ago

          You are officially ahead of like, half the people in this post, and your kids will be too.

    • Da Bald Eagul@feddit.nl
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      6 days ago

      Depends on context. Maybe I’m not reading the OP right, but if it’s in the context of “yo guys what do I say” it’s different from “yo guys look how desperate she is lmao”

    • ByteOnBikes@slrpnk.net
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      6 days ago

      If you’re ever concerned that your private messages will get leaked, why send it? That seems like a you issue for trusting them.

      • Polderviking@feddit.nl
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        6 days ago

        The abuse of trust is the problem there, not the trust itself…

        There’s no scenario where you’re not the a-hole if you’re going to parrot something someone else told you in private, elsewhere.

        • prole@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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          5 days ago

          There’s no scenario where you’re not the a-hole if you’re going to parrot something someone else told you in private, elsewhere.

          I can think of several, including the one being described in the original post

        • ameancow@lemmy.world
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          There’s no scenario where you’re not the a-hole if you’re going to parrot something someone else told you in private, elsewhere.

          There is no scenario where you “extending trust” to someone protects you from potential consequence. You’re not the victim if someone you don’t know well shares your private shit, you’re an idiot.

          If you’re sharing things in confidence that could get you in trouble, you’re already making a mistake, and this triggers some people and I cannot fathom why. Just be more careful and you’ll be fine, you’re not entitled to privacy on the internet, you cannot predict what other people do, and even if you’re totally in the right and someone else is deliberately trying to “take you down” you have made mistakes in extending trust to people you don’t know well enough, on the internet, about things that could have consequences.

          I am sad that people never taught their kids how to use the internet back when it was newer, they just all said “nothing there is real, don’t worry about it” while we all use it all day, every day, with no real guidance.

          • Polderviking@feddit.nl
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            6 days ago

            I think you think I’m agry with the wrong person. Who do you think my statement was directed against?

            • ameancow@lemmy.world
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              I don’t know who you’re “angry” with but you’re either soft-defending the people who had the server or doing the worst job in the world specifying who you’re directing criticism at.

              The abuse of trust is the problem there, not the trust itself…

              There’s no scenario where you’re not the a-hole if you’re going to parrot something someone else told you in private, elsewhere.

              I’ve definitely got some bleak ass humor with some friends in private but forwarding messages people sent you in private to other people and group chats? Really?

              I think a lot of people here feel like you’re mounting a case against Derek, or at least saying the guys with the discord server are not accountable or less accountable.

              • Polderviking@feddit.nl
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                Explain to me me how “someone told you in private” would ever apply to this Derek character leaking a group chat. What is private about a group chat?

                Obviously I’m talking about the guy that forwarded juicy messages someone sent him privately to his buddies in this leaked group chat.

                Even though I don’t think my original comment leaves much wiggle room for interpretive play, maybe I could have explained better. But maybe you’re a bit too eager to find people to recreationally chastise.

                • ameancow@lemmy.world
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                  5 days ago

                  I’m still completely confused how you seem to be shifting your stances around. Despite how much fun you seem to be having trolling everyone, I do NOT find recreational enjoyment arguing with people who don’t know how to string words together, so I will block you to end this, you’re on your own with everyone else you’ve confused here over the exact same messages.

        • VitoRobles@lemmy.today
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          6 days ago

          Seems like the finger should be pointed at you for being so naive and trusting someone so blindly?

          And reading the post, you telling me if OP was sending nudes of his girlfriend to a group chat, Derrick is the asshole here?

          Yeah alright.

      • ameancow@lemmy.world
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        6 days ago

        Sadly, people rather get in trouble and make themselves out to be a victim than decide to use some measure of self control and not spout every stupid thing that crosses their mind in their weird little shitty discord channel with their other shitty friends.

        Seriously, I have been around the internet since the beginning of it, and people make the same mistakes over and over. This is one of them, and one I’ve never had to deal with because I don’t say shitty things to people, I don’t make “off color” jokes and have no desire to, and you know what… somehow I am not lacking a social life, it’s almost like being a shitty person doesn’t have to be a substitute for having a personality, you can just learn to socialize like a big boy or big girl and not set yourself up for disaster later.

    • TwoBeeSan@lemmy.world
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      6 days ago

      Yeah that’s my line. Something someone told you in confidence is a shit thing to make fun of them for, forwarding it to friends is another level.

      Derek’s lame but they were shit too

      • ByteOnBikes@slrpnk.net
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        6 days ago

        Nah fuck that.

        If your comment was so bad that a person you both trust and respected was like, “WTF” to expose it, that’s on you.

        The whole meToo movement is based on this. Just “locker room” talk to some, but deeply disgusting sexual harassment from a small group and behavior to the other 90%.

      • ameancow@lemmy.world
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        6 days ago

        confidence

        If this is supposed to be private, personal stuff, why then would you share it with either someone you don’t know well, or share it in a public space where others can see it? “Confidential” material means it should only be seen by people you trust. This whole post is about someone they didn’t know or trust coming into their space and sharing their shit. It’s entirely on them for saying stupid shit on the internet and not being careful.

        • TwoBeeSan@lemmy.world
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          6 days ago

          Agreed. Was referring to the messages their SO’s sent them they then talked in the chat about

          That’s scum

    • slaneesh_is_right@lemmy.org
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      I text my friends offensive shit too, but imo the only reason you can consider them funny is because it’s the exact opposite of who i am. Like i don’t even really swear irl. But shit like forwarding private messages or bullying real people is so disgusting to me. I often talk to girls from tinder, and they sometimes send me screenshots of people from tinder to make fun of them. Instant turn off and block.

      • VitoRobles@lemmy.today
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        If you’re sharing it privately, that’s your true self, the version of you unfiltered and able to avoid the consequences of actually saying it.

        Not if, but when it gets exposed by a Derek, will people look at you differently?

        You just discovered something important about yourself.

        • wabasso@lemmy.ca
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          This is an over generalization. How can you support that this is true other than for yourself alone?

          Sometimes the unfiltered things I discuss in private are for the purpose of getting feedback. A brainstorming space without any of the regular inhibitions censoring free thought. I’m not looking for affirmation, but genuinely want to see what the unfiltered feedback would be, and am ready to change my option on a dime.

          Take this to the next level: you do this in your own mind / imagination before you speak. You think things that you don’t say. So is everything in your mind, even things you think are wrong and choose not to express, your true self? And you should be ashamed of shameful thoughts?

          Also what do you even mean by “true” self? If I act differently around different groups of people, which one is true?

          • ByteOnBikes@slrpnk.net
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            6 days ago

            Gonna share this again

            This commenter said it best:

            To the people who think what OP did was completely normal and something everyone does, (and I hate to use this phrase) check the “ratio” here. Nobody thinks this is normal. You and OP are in the slim minority spewing vile shit about people in your lives. It’s cruel and childish. You’d be smart to learn from OP’s predicament before you find yourself in the exact same situation with everyone you know hating you because you thought it was perfectly normal to constantly trash talk them behind their back. It’s not normal. Not everyone is doing it. Assholes like OP and apparently yourself are doing it. And it clearly can bite you in the ass. As I said in my initial comment, these kinds of things can have serious real world consequences. So you may wanna wise up and start being a respectable human being ;)

          • ameancow@lemmy.world
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            6 days ago

            A brainstorming space

            He posted nudes of his ex, among other things I’m sure at the same level of taste and class.

            Can we stop twisting ourselves in knots trying to make fabricated and abstracted situations trying to engineer this to a situation where the people who originally shared terrible things are somehow morally justified? When you’re shitty on the internet, and let other people see your shitty shit, shit is going to come back on you. It’s your fault, you made a mistake. Period. This isn’t deep or hard to figure out.

            You don’t even have to be the bad guy here, you can do everything right and STILL end up fucked over because you didn’t take care with what you post around other people. Learn to be smarter. Get gud.

        • thebestaquaman@lemmy.world
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          This is a terrible take. Obviously, I can say something offensive to a friend that they would find funny exactly because they know I don’t mean it seriously.

          Saying that is some kind of “reflection of my true self” is honestly just dumb. I’m saying the offensive thing because I find it offensive myself, and because I would never say it to someone I don’t trust to understand that.

  • MTK@lemmy.world
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    7 days ago

    Ah yes, “cocksucker” as the first insult to come to mind, the sign of a good person

      • MTK@lemmy.world
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        7 days ago

        It implies that for a man, sucking cock (a legitimate sexual act for any gender) is an insult because that would make him gay. So Homophobic.

        • Arthur Besse@lemmy.ml
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          6 days ago

          imo the pejorative connotation of that word, and homophobia generally, is ultimately rooted in misogyny

          "always has been" meme with "wait, it's all about maintaining the patriarchy?"

        • KillingTimeItself@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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          ok?

          So what if i just argued that “cocksucker” just meant that you would suck someones cock if you got you something. I.E. you’re easily bribed/manipulated. As far as i know, that’s how most people use it.

          That’s literally the implication like 99% of the time. If you wanted to insult someone for being gay, you would just call them a faggot or something lmao. No need to mince words at that point.

            • KillingTimeItself@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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              5 days ago

              to be clear, the wiki page you explicitly linked literally say it has a historical connotation, and the primary example it lists is from checks notes 53 years ago.

              I’m going to hazard a guess that the sentiment has probably changed, a little bit. Since 1972. 1972 to be clear, was 8 years after the passing of the civil rights act. It’s a bit of a different time period now.

              anyway point is, i’m not convinced anybody cares about using this as a homophobic slur anymore.

              Sorry for the short temper, this thread has been too long and I already explained this on another comment.

              it’s whatever, that’s how the internet is lol. This thread has been more than amusing for me thus far.

          • Redfox8@mander.xyz
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            6 days ago

            I think you’re getting caught up in the state being abusive and controlling to it’s citizens (as Dump is doing now) and society self-regulating itself for it’s own benefit (something that happens in all social groups) as being one and the same. Just because someone calls out another person’s bad behaviour, that does not equate to supporting a dictatorial, or similarly controlling, leadership.

              • despicable@lemmy.today
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                6 days ago

                Lmao my man here thinks that the American democratic party is leftist, that’s hilarious.

              • Triasha@lemmy.world
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                6 days ago

                First of all, screw the Democrats they are not left wing. They are center right shitlibs, with a few milqtoast standouts like Bernie and AOC.

                Second. You correctly look at democrats and see they are just Republicans lite, but your mistake is in thinking that going further left leads to greater power to the state to curtail speech, thought, and action. The left wants liberation. Economic and social. The power of government to celurtail speech is not liberation, it’s oppression.

              • Redfox8@mander.xyz
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                What have far left (or far right, or even centrist) politics got to do with it? This is about what’s socially acceptable. Yes that feeds into politics and left/right/centre opinions, but I’m not discussing politics (nor was the person you replied to). Which ties in with my first comment that you’re combining politics with social issues erroneously.

                Ultimately abuse is, abuse, is abuse, no matter how you dress it up.

          • Christer Enfors@lemm.ee
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            6 days ago

            Where do they say that they want microphones listening to people? Just because someone doesn’t like some ways of talking, doesn’t mean that they want 1984-style surveillance of everyone.

          • abbotsbury@lemmy.world
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            7 days ago

            That’s still degrading to fellators.

            And idk if I’d say it’s a power thing, cocksuckers are the active participant in a blow job, and I’d say the submissive one is the one with their meat between a pair of teeth.

            • KillingTimeItself@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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              find me people who suck cock that actually give a fuck about other people calling people cocksuckers and we can talk.

              And idk if I’d say it’s a power thing, cocksuckers are the active participant in a blow job, and I’d say the submissive one is the one with their meat between a pair of teeth.

              nobody is arguing that sucking cock is submissive??? The argument is that being a cocksucker is a submissive thing.

              Or you trolling? Or are you actually serious?

              • MTK@lemmy.world
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                6 days ago

                Too lazy to write two separate responses? I’ll try!

                “Don’t be a bigot” = dystopian future

                Sound logic.

                Oh shit, that’s the same message, guess you will have to read it twice, maybe that way it will get through to you.

                Tap for spoiler

                You can be better, reflect on your bigotry and grow as a person.

            • BigBananaDealer@lemm.ee
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              7 days ago

              its still at the end of the day giving pleasure to another. giving the key word: power thing. its the same atmosphere as bootlicker

              • papertowels@mander.xyz
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                7 days ago

                If you think going down on someone is only a submissive act you haven’t gone down on someone long enough, or teased them enough.

              • MTK@lemmy.world
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                Being submissive in sex can be expressed in a blowjob, but so can being dominant. Most sexual acts can be either dominant or submissive under the right context. For example a person can forcibly (consensually) throw the other person down, pin them to the floor and start going down on them while not letting them orgasm. Is the person being overpowered and forced to be frustrate by not orgasming the one in power?

                Your understanding of mutual respect and love is unhealthy if you compare going down on someone to bootlicking.

                • BigBananaDealer@lemm.ee
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                  im comparing an insult to bootlicking. jesus christ you people really feel like arguing over absolutely nothing

              • abbotsbury@lemmy.world
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                Okay but like, in regular penis-in-vagina sex, the man is (theoretically) giving pleasure to the woman while also doing all the work. Is that still power play? Is pussyfucker the same as cocksucker?

                • KillingTimeItself@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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                  i mean yeah, pussyfucker if you used as an insult would be quite a weird insult to throw, but it would work i suppose.

                  Motherfucker is also in the same vein like the other commenter suggested.

                • BigBananaDealer@lemm.ee
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                  pussyfucker isnt an insult ive ever heard but motherfucker is

                  cocksucker reminds me of the prison mentality of making someone your bitch so thats where im getting the power play from

              • Redfox8@mander.xyz
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                So, if you were to replace ‘cocksucker’ with ‘towelhead’, slut, Yid, or Nig*** would that still just be a power thing?

                Not that it actually makes a difference. This ‘power thing’ you refer to is controlling abuse for self interest. Introducing a predudice is just a way of trying to justify and/or hide the abuse.

          • MTK@lemmy.world
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            7 days ago

            He could have also said “vaginalicker” but he didn’t, he used a well known homophobic slur. Also, if he wanted to say submissive he could have used well known submissive insults.

  • LengAwaits@lemmy.world
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    7 days ago

    Shitposting is just pretending to be stupid/racist/shitty for laughs/attention, right? Pretty low form of humor, if you ask me (no one did), but I’m also guessing a lot of shitposters aren’t just pretending.

    I like a laugh as much as the next person, but we can’t sit around going “Why are people in this country so fucking stupid/racist/shitty?” while simultaneously elevating “acting” stupid to some high form of humor. You see how that’s counterproductive, right?

    “Infidelity does not consist in believing, or in disbelieving; it consists in professing to believe what he does not believe. It is impossible to calculate the moral mischief, if I may so express it, that mental lying has produced in society. When a man has so far corrupted and prostituted the chastity of his mind, as to subscribe his professional belief to things he does not believe, he has prepared himself for the commission of every other crime.” - Thomas Paine, The Age of Reason


    “Any community that gets its laughs by pretending to be idiots will eventually be flooded by actual idiots who mistakenly believe that they’re in good company.” - Jason Garrett-Glaser

    • abbotsbury@lemmy.world
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      I don’t think it is that people are saying shitposting is a higher form of humor, but that it requires a level of trust that you know the people you’re shitposting with know you and know you’re joking. Lack of that leads to your second quote.

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        That’s totally fair, and I agree with you. I probably shouldn’t have used the phrase “high form of humor”. I more meant “worthwhile form of humor”. Even that doesn’t really encapsulate what I mean.

        I don’t know. It can be hard to separate brainrot from intelligent comedy, and I laugh at both, myself. I’m not the comedy police or anything, I just don’t want to end up here:

      • lagoon8622@sh.itjust.works
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        6 days ago

        Great failure of Pauline (🤡🤡🤡🤡) discourse: actions don’t matter, only faith. Bitch nothing in your head matters, only what you do is consequential. Motherfucker destroyed Christianity before it even had a chance get started

    • ByteOnBikes@slrpnk.net
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      In the 90s, calling yourself a flat earther was a opportunity to have a fun and yet silly conversation about belief in science. During that time, both people KNEW that the earth was round. It was an exercise in creativity and played straight for laughs.

      But somewhere in the 2000, some people didn’t realize the satire. They actually BELIEVED in it.

      There’s a line of shitposting like with anything.

      Shitposting is an art. It’s satire.

      Then there’s actual shitty people who don’t realize that the good shit posts harm nobody. Where shitty people posting disgusting racist things under the guise of Shitposting are too stupid to understand the nuance.

      This commenter said it best:

      To the people who think what OP did was completely normal and something everyone does, (and I hate to use this phrase) check the “ratio” here. Nobody thinks this is normal. You and OP are in the slim minority spewing vile shit about people in your lives. It’s cruel and childish. You’d be smart to learn from OP’s predicament before you find yourself in the exact same situation with everyone you know hating you because you thought it was perfectly normal to constantly trash talk them behind their back. It’s not normal. Not everyone is doing it. Assholes like OP and apparently yourself are doing it. And it clearly can bite you in the ass. As I said in my initial comment, these kinds of things can have serious real world consequences. So you may wanna wise up and start being a respectable human being ;)

      • trashgirlfriend@lemmy.world
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        Shitposting is an art. It’s satire.

        I might get cooked for this but it’s just not.

        As a person who has been shit posting for at least a decade at this point, 99% of shit posting is either just saying something stupid on purpose or being a cunt to someone.

        “Shitposting is an art” is some shit a dweeb says online to make themselves look interesting because “I like to say dumb shit for attention” sounds a lot worse.

        Like sure, sometimes it’s funny to be a cunt to someone online (within reason) but let’s not pretend it’s something profound.

        Furthermore, the fact that it’s not something profound but just dumbass behavior done for laughs is the reason it can be misunderstood by honest dumbasses.

        • thebestaquaman@lemmy.world
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          6 days ago

          I’ll defend shitposting here, because I think you’re simplifying it a bit too much.

          Shitposting is so much more than “saying dumb stuff for shits n’ giggles”. First of all, as with anything else, there are good and bad shitposts. A good shitpost usually contains a solid undertone of irony or sarcasm. An important part of the humour is not just in “being dumb” it’s about using a statement that is dumb in a very specific way in combination with a specific context in order to create something funny.

          Furthermore, a good shitpost uses exaggeration in a good way. The reader should preferably be “lured into” the post, not realising it’s a shitpost, before the notch is turned to 11 revealing that it was a shitpost. This adds an extra layer of humor and social commentary: The fact that the post at first seems believable forces you to recon with what kind of things you would actually believe someone could write. It also makes the target of the humor clear.

          Shitposting may not be high art, but calling it “just being a cunt to someone” is missing the mark. “Just being a cunt to someone” is exactly that, and it’s not shitposting.

              • trashgirlfriend@lemmy.world
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                5 days ago

                Legit, what do you want my response to be to that.

                My whole argument was that internet people think shit posting is something profound but it’s just shitposting.

                Maybe I should have posted a crying wojak saying it so it’s Real Shitpost™ Art certified.

                • thebestaquaman@lemmy.world
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                  5 days ago

                  To be fair, I didn’t expect you to respond at all, and really just wanted to point out that calling a stranger you know nothing about a “dweeb” in response to something they wrote is a prime example of “just being a cunt to someone”. You didn’t need to respond, but you chose to do so by being a cunt.

                  Regardless, I think you missed some of the sarcasm in what I was writing (which, in hindsight, isn’t very clear). My point isn’t that shitposting is some form of high art. It’s that it’s a form of humor that amounts to more than saying provocative stuff or being a cunt. At it’s best, a shitpost can even contain some social commentary in the same way as caricatures can. Of course, as with all other humor, there are plenty of bad shitposts out there too, which are often just trolls trying to stir up shit.

    • stabby_cicada@slrpnk.net
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      6 days ago

      Shitposting is just pretending to be stupid/racist/shitty for laughs/attention, right? Pretty low form of humor, if you ask me (no one did), but I’m also guessing a lot of shitposters aren’t just pretending.

      The thing is, a lot of them are pretending until they’re not. In contexts where their audience isn’t made of assholes, they’ll just say their racist (or fascist or misogynist or whatever) posts are jokes, they’re making fun of racists and they’re making fun of easily offended liberals.

      And because they know they’re going to use the “just a joke” excuse, they’ll post shit that’s even more extreme than what they actually believe - so when they say they’re just posting to offend people and don’t actually believe what they post they’re being honest.

      But when they feel comfortable that their audience is full of racists, they’ll post the same racist crap, but they’ll do it absolutely seriously.

      I believe the term for that is Schrödinger’s asshole.

    • Korhaka@sopuli.xyz
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      6 days ago

      Isn’t this a group chat between friends though, so its not an open community where actual idiots are free to just join it.

      I play a lot of games that include genocide, like Rimworld, Stellaris, Drox Operative 2, Factorio. That doesn’t mean I am actually going to go out and commit one.

        • Korhaka@sopuli.xyz
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          6 days ago

          Tbh this whole thing lacks sufficient context. The guy is probably diminishing what he did, so may well be a bellend. But we don’t really have enough information.

    • ByteOnBikes@slrpnk.net
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      6 days ago

      I love all the comments who hate Derek, obviously projecting their own shitty behavior.

      What a tell.

  • Frostbeard@lemmy.world
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    6 days ago

    I would love for my 40k groups five year group chat to be leaked. My theories about Alpharius is valid I tell you.

    Nononono, dont go! We haven’t even gotten to the part with Valdor, and the Emperor yet.

      • Frostbeard@lemmy.world
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        3 days ago

        OK. We start at the beginning. 10000 years before our current date, a boy is born in Anatolia that will one day become known as The Emperor… Wait perhaps we should start 30 million years ago since you also should know about the war in heaven, the fall of the C’tan and the fate on a race known as the Necrotyr.