Once I saw this guy on a bridge about to jump. I said, “Don’t do it!” He said, “Nobody loves me.” I said, “God loves you. Do you believe in God?”
He said, “Yes.” I said, “Are you a Christian or a Jew?” He said, “A Christian.” I said, “Me, too! Protestant or Catholic?” He said, “Protestant.” I said, “Me, too! What franchise?” He said, “Baptist.” I said, “Me, too! Northern Baptist or Southern Baptist?” He said, “Northern Baptist.” I said, “Me, too! Northern Conservative Baptist or Northern Liberal Baptist?”
He said, “Northern Conservative Baptist.” I said, “Me, too! Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region, or Northern Conservative Baptist Eastern Region?” He said, “Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region.” I said, “Me, too!”
Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1879, or Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1912?" He said, “Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1912.” I said, “Die, heretic!” And I pushed him over.
- Emo Philips
I can already hear this world’s Charlie Kirk claiming brown eyed people are responsible for 9001% of the violent crimes.
I actually haven’t heard much from him lately
Yeah so basically he had this procedure done that drained all the toxicity out of his personality just over a year ago and ever since then he has become the very model of “the only good kind of fascist”. Incredible growth. I wish all fascists could improve as people in the exact same way he did.
Sounds like a very successful program! If only it were more widespread so it could reach racists everywhere!
I’m gonna come out and say it, mask off. I’m tired of pretending “Oh I disagreed with Kirk but he didn’t deserve to die.”
Robinson deserves a fucking medal. Fascists like Kirk can’t be reasoned with, when they’re put down we should applaud.
Kirk was a dangerous person, if he had his way myself and others like me would be stoned to death for being queer.
It’s pretty vague and a lot of them are bordering on pseudoscience, but there are studies out there linking eye color to various positive/negative personality traits. Realistically, I think it’s likely linking to genetic markers that are correlated but not necessarily causal but genetics is not my field of study.
They had all the other colors (and even fire red with cool patterns !) and the white people STILL organized themselves by eye color 🤦
Lol exactly my first thought.
Funny how everyone thinks only white people are xenophobic and racist.
Well, in this hypothetical example only white people exist, so of course they will be assholes to other white people.
Where do you all live where there are only two races?
US suburbs classify race as “white” and “everyone else.”
Damn, guess I don’t live in a US suburb then. Damn you, US education system!
The internet
They said “only white people” and gave an example as “no black people”. They could have said “no asians” or “no french”, but that doesn’t matter. The first sentence excludes every demographic except white skinned people.
Nah, it will still be the same, it will just be “white” and “actual white” or you know, all the other minorities that are white, like certain religions, countries, bloodlines, immigrants, etc.
Don’t worry, we have so much bigotry that we don’t even know what to do with it!
Lol I grew up in a 100% white town in northern mn. At the top of the pecking order was your Anglican protestant types, then the Catholics, then the pollaks(yours truly), and then at the bottom was the finnlanders. No one trusted them. They were always starting co-op’s, saunaing naked, etc.
We could all look exactly the same and all be Christian, and the Protestants and Catholics would gang up on the Baptist’s and Assembly of God and kill every one they can find.
… and they’d by delighted in their handiwork and brag to their grandchildren with pride.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Thirty_Years'_War
Eight million dead in the 1600s, they didn’t even have AK-47s. Protestant vs. Catholic. Same race.
on the shitpost meter, you score 45%
I’d go to Walmart again after 5 years.
Probably try to figure out what the hell happened. the majority of the population of earth vanishing would be a bit alarming
White are a minority ? That was unexpected
Only for people who have never opened a geography book.
My theory is that there’s a US flag every few meters in the USA because they are so bad at geography that they wouldn’t know in which country they are.
US? Did you mean the divided states formerly known as the country between Mexico and Canada?
Those of their citizens that would need a flag to know where they are would always just assume that they are in Magastan regardless of what they see around them.
Yep. Here is a cool map to help visualize it in your head.
Cool map thanks
White people make up approximately 15-16% of the population https://factually.co/fact-checks/society/white-population-percentage-world-f6aeb8
Damn why I never got dei benefit that s unfair
Hair color is easier to see from afar. That’d be first.
Prejudice!
Well, of course. Do you want a bunch of soulless gingers plaguing the earth?
Ginger liberation!
For kids of all nations!It’d start out as more jokes, of course. And then over time you’d have to wonder more and more whether any particular joke was serious.
That’s basically M.I.A.'s Born Free music video. It was really controversial back when it was released but now it seems prophetic.
I’ve lived in a place that was “all white” and they divided themselves up by nationality. Poles, Ukrainians, Slovaks, Czech, Italian.
There would be bars people would avoid because they were harassed for not looking right.
This was in Scranton/Wilkes-Barre at the turn of the millenium. Since then there’s been an influx of Hispanic people and now all the “whites” hate them together.
Ha, stay classy Pennsylvania!
Also Italians weren’t considered white either, in the late 1800s and early 1900s. They were above POC, but barely. They had to “prove their whiteness”. Also Irish were predominantly Catholic so fuck them too. Its why a lot went on to become police, to show they weren’t “filthy degenerate thieves” and served the community.
“No dogs No blacks No Irish”
Hair color is too easy to change. White people really value the immutable
Me chuckling with the inability to tan: “Who’s white now?”
We already did that one
Nah we already hate gingers
Good news there. My hair is white, too.
I’d miss my wife 🥲
I’d spend the rest of my life looking for my kids.
Me too
We’d all miss their wife.
Check to see if the Asian people are still okay.
A more cynical answer is to buy as much property on the south side of Chicago as possible before the prices skyrocket.
Asian people will divide themselves by skin color, features or nationality, too. Not immune to racism. Its partly a survival instinct from the past that is rearing its ugly side.
Absolutely. I was just laughing at the original post forgetting that half the planet doesn’t exactly fit into the black/white classification.
Probably would go back to discriminating by nationality or culture.
Italian jokes are back on the menu bois!
Irish jokes never left
And religion
Believe me, that was never really out of style since 9/11
Okay, aside from the obvious “what the fuck happened to all the people” racist Thanos snap of it all, my real question is this: who is left behind? Because “white” is a made up category. I have 2% African ancestry, do I stay or do I go now? I have some level I don’t remember if Asian ancestry, less than 5 percent. I also have higher than average neanderthal DNA. Does that part count as white? They’re likely European Neanderthals… Go far enough back, obviously, and all humans are African descended.
Where do we draw the line? Because honestly, if there’s some weird racist god out there snapping away people based on their DNA, I need to know the rules so I can make proper arrangements!
Yes, In the early 20th century, Irish and Italians didn’t count, so the O’Reillys and Giulianis that people conservative (xenophobic) America would have a sharp surprise.
Was just about to say “You reckon the magical racist thanos snap would finally recognize north african and middle-eastern and azerbaijani and circassian and… groups as white now or still no?”
