If you’re lucky it might be cut with something cheaper like pure cocaine

No, we sell water usage data to water companies, so they know when to put water in the pipes!

That printer is a 2000’s HP LaserJet

Yes but now the towel has poo water on it

Not pictured: the wet spot on the back of their pants.

Seriously, how do bidet enjoyers dry their asses?

I learned more about how computers work from them than I did in all my schooling.

Most of the best QA folks I’ve worked with had teenage children.

I imagine dealing with developers is similar.

The voters have enough guns to challenge their authority.

Pirate ships were anarchist combat collectives. They’d probably work like that.

This is not unlike how pirate ships worked

At 4:30 pm on my last day at my previous job my boss asked me to email a customer something.

I left that shit on read

A plumbus

I’m assuming every ska band is so far off the left edge we can’t see them.

As someone who supports vaccines but opposes adulthood I’m torn on this

“This is a collect call from ‘mompracticeisoverpickmeup’ do you accept the charges?”

The best way I’ve heard it said was “if a woman can make a baby in nine months, then nine women should be able to make a baby in one month, right?”

There’s a universe where the Christmas Truce of 1914 has held to this day and I wish I was in it.

That’s what sharpies are for

Plus a good ol Dixon Ticonderoga can write on stuff other than paper. About the only time I use a pencil is when doing carpentry and mechanical ones just snap.

Back in the late 20th century, Alton Brown mentioned how it might be hard to find things like soy sauce or ginger at grocery stores.