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…Win?
Jokes aside, if you don’t believe in god and end up going to heaven because you were actually a good person that would be a win in my book, but I would imagine the atheist in this event would be eternally upset that they were wrong in their actual premise. Joke is more funny if you ended up in a non-Christian afterlife.
God doesn’t care if you’re christian or not all he cares is if you ate enough chili dogs. Needless to say nobody who died before the mid 20th century went to heaven.
dies
God: “Timmy… Exactly how many chili dogs do you eat a day?”
Possibly if you died really young.
Christianity promotes infant mortality.
God is Sonic the Hedgehog.
Jesus entered the temple courts and drove out all who were buying and selling there. He overturned the tables of the money changers and the benches of those selling doves. 13 “It is written,” he said to them, “‘My house will be called a house of prayer,’[a] but you are making it ‘a den of robbers.
Anyway put money in the basket for my jet
Man you skipped the part where he spent hours hand making a whip to use on them too.
That’s metal. Have you ever been so mad you have made a whip?
Out of the leather of his shoes, if I remember correctly.
Put MORE money in the basket for my jet, or God will hate you
I’ve actually been told by a Christian that I act more like a Christian than some of the Christians they know after sharing with them how I am trying to put my Anarchist beliefs in action through practicing mutual aid and building my community. I hope they realize they can do the same thing and still be Christian. God doesn’t love the state and if He does, well…
Some of the most Christian acting people I have known were Jews, Muslims, and Atheists.
there’s a reason i coalition build best with religious anarchists while myself being an agnostic. there’s actually a ton of radical political thought in theology if you can get away from a hierarchically programmed preacher long enough to study it yourself.
there’s a song i love titled Owed to a Hypocrite about how the politician and the preacher walk down the road hand in hand oppressing all us regular people
there’s a reason i coalition build best with religious anarchists while myself being an agnostic.
Very hard to be an anarchist and then recoil at a neighbor with superficial differences in belief. If you need homogeneity of thought for anarchism to function, but you reject a hierarchy of institution to enforce canonical doctrine, how is that even supposed to work?
there’s actually a ton of radical political thought in theology if you can get away from a hierarchically programmed preacher long enough to study it yourself
Sort of the secret sauce of the modern major religious movements. They are all, at their core, populist messages intended to appeal to wide audiences of working class people. The insular cults and sectarian country clubs do a great job of raising tons of money from a few gullible rubes. But they can’t stand the test of time without reforming back into popular theology.
I would say that any serious student of religion or history really needs a teacher (ideally more than one). “Just do your own research” is fine on its face, but inevitably you run into contradictions and conundrums that the texts alone don’t illuminate. A great deal of the Old Testament is written as part of a rabbinical dialogue, with different books and chapters and even verses intentionally challenging one another in order to spur meditation and debate. And plenty of Leftist texts follow a similar trajectory.
You don’t have to read Marx and Engels as somehow oppositional to Kropotkin, Bakunin, and Stirner. You don’t have to read Descartes as oppositional to Kant. All these philosophers can operate in dialogue with one another. Perhaps even in some kind of dialectic with one another.
But it does help to hold a certain set of common beliefs.
there’s a song i love titled Owed to a Hypocrite about how the politician and the preacher walk down the road hand in hand oppressing all us regular people
My favorite line from Game of Thrones is the Sellsword Riddle. The answer you give to the riddle says a great deal about what you think of political power and who ultimately wields it. And the deeper you muse on it, the harder it is to unravel.
Has he invited you to go to church with him yet?
I feel I may have been invited indirectly a couple of times when we spoke.
“You’re a better Christian than many of them. You’d fit right in, and have a great time! Got some nice single girls, too. Too bad we don’t have some nice employed single men for them. Anyway, got to get back to work.”
Like that?
Na, not like that. They were never pushy about having me go to their church. They were devoted to their faith but became suspicious of the institution of Faith. Told them about Christian anarchism.
Christians (followers of Paul) are all heretics. I’m a follower of Christ Himself, not these Romans who killed Him and then appropriated His message.
Jesus was black, there’s no such thing as Hell, Donald Trump is the Antichrist, Eve was a trans woman, and the government is lying about 9/11!
Of all the Christians to put shade on I wouldn’t have thrown Paul in the lot. Paul seemed like a pretty down to earth person from everything I read, he was basically a riches to rags semi militant hobo hippie. Now Peter…
Support. As someone who grew up in a “christian” environment, it’s amazing how little many “christians” actually know or care about jesus and his message. It’s completely buried and obscured by random, irrelevant shit from paul, the old testament, etc.
Eve was a trans woman
Hol up-
Imma need you to elaborate on this one lol
Eve was made from a man’s rib, so in a way at first she was a clone of his flesh, XY chromosomes and all. The bible does not elaborate on how the abrahamic god made her into a woman, she was able to bear children so there was definitely a change made to the “original” masculine reproductive system, but we don’t know at what stage of her becoming a being that occured. Either way though - Adam’s rib was transed by god themself into a woman.
now i’m wondering how all the christian terfs would react if someone said that trans women are actually the original women
Makes you wonder: Is that a non-scientific description of sequential hermaphroditism / dichogamy (/ gender swap)? Maybe there was a time where conditions where so harsh that it also occurred for early humans. That would be wild! Of course, for us at this distant point in time it would all seem like fairy tales.
Jesus was trans too. Virgin conception means there couldn’t have been a Y chromosome.
She was made from a man’s rib I guess.
first i was confused then i realized my confusion was the point and i let go
Paul was a Roman who never met Jesus, but still claimed to be an apostle. He added many heretical doctrines to the Bible, reinterpreting Jesus’ life to suit bourgeois sensibilities. Paul is the source of many conservative ideas claimed to be Christian. https://www.sol.com.au/kor/7_02.htm
Also Eve came from a male rib. The Lord transed her gender when He made her into a woman
Is this the Saul who became Paul? So he didn’t become good he just changed his name and defined what is good?
TIL bones have gender.
I mean they have DNA, and chromosomes. So they have biological sex, which is commonly conflated with gender.
Username checks out
God’s up there to greet everybody, and he’s like “Who the fuck are all YOU people?”
I would read that horror story. Imagine unexpectedly facing eternity with The Spanish Inquisition, conquistadors, various other brutal imperialist forces and having it presented to you as a rare honor for a lifetime of Christian service. I imagine it like “The Good Place” except it isn’t a comedy.
I’d rather laugh with the sinners than cry with the saints
The sinners are much more fun
That Billy Joel song was banned by the Catholic church in my country when it first came out.
Hey just want to let you know I made a writing prompt based off your comment.
Thanks! I love writing prompts. I saved it so I can see how it goes. Do you write on there?
No imperialist is worthy of eternal life in the Lord’s kingdom. Jesus was a black transgender communist, and don’t you forget it.
…Jesus was Jewish
This is why nazis don’t like him
There are plenty of black transgender communist Jews. Google Mizrahim, Kibbutz, and the number of genders in the Talmud.
Transgender?
Joseph didn’t give Him a Y chromosome. Plus, being the incarnation of the Lord, He was nonbinary. He even used neopronouns - He/Him
He couldn’t have gotten very far with only half his chromosomes. Therefore the other half of his DNA must’ve been god DNA. It’s a shame he didn’t have kids!
Not to worry, there are plenty of other demigods in history who did have children, like Heracles. And plenty of god genes in the gene pool. That’s where ADHD and double jointedness comes from.
This was fucking hilarious, thanks
Ain’t happening, since belief in God is reiterated time and again as the main requirement for anyone to get any heaven time. Even Jesus was going “if you don’t believe my father and me, then get fucked”.
belief in God is reiterated time and again as the main requirement for anyone to get any heaven time.
Reiterated by humans. I haven’t seen an official press release from god.
Well, yeah, but you can’t get people to join your cult if there’re alternative paths to the afterlife.
Evangelicals after the rapture:
“You know what would make heaven even better… Limp Bizkit”
St. Fred will certainly be seated close to the Lord of All Bizkits.
Noooooo, not eternal hyyms!!
And it won’t even be the stuff that at least sounds nice like the Mormon Tabernacle Choir. Oh no, it’s going to be hymns sung by backwoods Baptist church choirs. The ones too small for the blended sound to make up for their hopelessly out of tune joyful noises.
I want my heavy metal :,(
* heaven metal
This brings me no corn…
No corn, yet.
A deer farmer baiting his hole.
Praise Jesus, thank you for the corn!
Edit: WTF?
Looks dried, likely used as bait for deer hunting based on the hi vis gear.
Hunting big fucking deer.
Even Deerannosaurus Rex would need to munch a while on that pile
In many jurisdictions, deer season is like 1 or 2 weekends per year, and the limit is 1. It’s not a lot of time to actually find and shoot a deer. So this guy is probably setting this up several weeks in advance to get some level of assurance that some deer will show up to his spot at the appointed time.
Farming
Huntingbig fucking deer.
Upvote for KC.
krispy chicken?
Kirk Charlie
Kansas City
Just because you weren’t intellectually and/or emotionally competent enough to believe in the Creator doesn’t mean you didn’t act right and that He’d just disregard you. And certainly many of these hypocrites will taste Hell before righteous “nonbelievers”. 👍
Just because you weren’t intellectually and/or emotionally competent enough to believe in the Creator
I always find it funny when believers think they have to be intellectually/emotionally more mature than non-believers when non-believers don’t need a spiritual crutch to get through life.
You’re welcome to believe in a creator if that helps you get through the day, but don’t pretend you’re a better person because you believe in a god. Pretending it makes you more intellectually or emotionally competent actually tells people the opposite of what you think it does.
I know right. They get their decency and morals from a book and ours comes from within.
Everyone’s comes from within, cause there are no amount of words that would suddenly change human nature. The books just delineate and expand on basic, natural human morality. 👍
Everyone’s comes from within, cause there are no amount of words that would suddenly change human nature
I’m going to assume you’ve never had a real conversation with (m)any Christians about this. Because plenty will end up telling you their morality is external, rather than internal.
You have no idea how many times I’ve had this conversation and basically been told that they have no concept of where my morals would come from, because theirs comes from the Bible. I’ve even had conversations where Christians make comments about the shit they want to do but can’t because of their religious morality or gone out of their way to try to justify their actions in her eyes of their god. Their morality isn’t internal to them and their core beliefs, it’s an external pressure to behave properly for their religion/congregation.
you weren’t intellectually and/or emotionally competent enough to believe in the Creator
That’s the funniest joke of 2025 lol
Marianas Trench level of self-awarenessOh no, trust me, I’ve walked both paths! But I know what’s my audience here so I won’t even complain about the reactions, lol.
If every religious person was like you we wouldn’t have so many problems in the world. You are right, you choice is your and mine is mine. We don’t try to change each other mind and are respectful of the others choice. 10/10 wishing everyone acted like that
That’s hilarious.
It takes intellectual competence to believe in magic?
The best argument I’ve ever heard for any god is “you can’t prove it didn’t happen this way.”
But I’m sure you have better than that, right?
It takes intellectual competence to believe in magic?
Yes, it does. Faith is like a muscle, it has to be exercised or it will atrophy, but with it, one can choose their beliefs, regardless of evidence. At the lowest level, this makes placebos stronger and helps quiet intrusive thoughts. At the highest levels of magical skill, all reality is one’s plaything. Because by changing your beliefs, you can rewrite your perceptions and remake the world as it exists within your own eyes.
Jesus said as much in the parable of the fig tree.
That’s not very convincing to people who care about believing true things, and it’s certainly not what I’d classify as “intellectual competence.”
Whatever works for you, great. But saying people who don’t delude themselves are lacking in intellectual or emotional competence doesn’t seem to be an effective message.
If you care more about truth than about the power to heal the sick and free the oppressed, then you are complicit.
Cool story. It’s a wonderful excuse, anyway.
doesn’t mean He’d just disregard you
It’s said many times both in the Old and the New testaments that whoever doesn’t believe, is totally fucked for eternity. Read your own main book.
It’s also said that everyone is saved. Everyone.
https://salvationforall.org/2_Is_Salvation_For_All_Biblical/1_salvation_is_biblical.html
For as in Adam all die, so also in Christ shall all be made alive.
There is no difference between Jew and Gentile, for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, and all are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus.
Hmm that’s too bad
r/usernamechecksout
Just for the record, monotheism is heresy. There are many gods in the Bible. Was it not recorded in the book of Exodus that the Egyptian priests successfully called on their native divinities to transform their staves into serpents? That Moses and the Lord summoned a bigger serpent does not mean the Egyptian gods are false. The first commandment is “You shall have no other gods before Me”, not “You shall have no other gods”. The difference being, a true follower of Elohim believes in all the gods, but worships primarily their Lord.
Based on the username, I can’t tell whether this is a troll account lmfao
Weed is a gift from the Lord. Or possibly Dionysus.
Was raised in fundamentalism, lost my religion over a decade ago. (I’m cool with religious people that aren’t evil shitheads trying to brain wash children.)
You’re right about the snakes. Also, the plural tenses in Job are weird.
Not related to the post. What’s your take on the Nephillium?
I love what @JesusChristLover420@lemmy.sdf.org is saying, but there’s no mystery about the nephilim.
Adam and Eve weren’t the first homosapiens, they were only the first Jews. They were the true children of Yahweh/El/Elohim, the only created things that were imbued with divine breath. Other humans were considered subservient like other animals. The Sons of God are Jewish men, the Daughters of Men were outsider women.
Most of the oral traditions in Genesis were ancient before they were written down, so they could even be echos of early homosapiens cross breeding with neanderthals. Remember what Jesus called the gentile woman who begged for help? He said helping her would be like throwing the children’s food — the children of Yahweh — to the dogs. Those who weren’t the ethnicity and the religion were not only outsiders, they were akin to “beasts of the field.”
But Jesus still healed her daughter. And then he fed the gentiles magic bread. Jesus came to help everyone, not just the Jews. If a Helenne is condemned to Tartarus, they are welcome in Heaven. A Norsefolk who is unworthy of Valhalla may ask Jesus for His hospitality instead. If an Egyptian’s heart weighs more than a feather, Jesus will offer to save them from Ammit. Jesus said racism is bad.
You’re cool. I like you.
You too
I like Cain and Abel/hunter gatherer vs agrarian theory.
The whole sons of god are angels having hybrid giant babies with human women is just a lot of fun.
Probably people with various forms of gigantism and/or demigods like Heracles.
We of course know that Elohim didn’t create all humanity, just the ancient Hebrews. Two people is not enough genetic diversity to sustain a population, and besides, we have fossil records of humans long before 6,000 years ago. Abel and Cain likely found wives among the human creations of other gods.
I really like the interpretation of Cain and Abel having it’s roots in the transition from Hunter Gatherer to Agraian society. Gobekli Tepe and all that.
Another couple of fun ones are Christmas trees being forbidden in Jeremiah and cannabasam (forget where in the OT). I assume your uname is in reference to that cannabis use. The manna as psychedelic mushrooms is also a cool idea.
