That’s how they laughed at me in Starcraft too.

It is very important to reaffirm that you are talking to mom in a private chat with mom by referring to her as “mom” as often as possible.

But I drew it for the party…

Steve’s Lava Chicken in my ass.

Kyle is one of those names that don’t really kick in until age 12. Like, yeah, that baby is named Kyle. But it hasn’t kicked in yet.

My wife sometimes stops to compliment me because she knows men don’t often receive compliments. I always appreciate that.

Russian porn sites be like…

I haven’t had a cigarette since 2014, but I’ll have one now since Gary went through all the trouble.

The hogs will never betray you. If they do, you were never running with the hogs to begin with.

My mom had a horse just like that (maybe not the eyes) and we would often ride her around our woods/property. There was a part of our swamp that was just muck, water and leaves beneath dead, spindly trees, and any time we would get close to that I would flip the fuck out because of this scene. No goliath turtles, though.

The best burnt-out sign I have come across was in my city back in 2019. It was a huge, red SENTINEL STORAGE sign, but the TO was no longer illuminated, so it left “SENTINELS RAGE” burning ominously in the night.

Here is the absolute shit-tier photo I managed to snap while driving.

I have been there. I have seen him myself. If you too find yourself standing before him, do not fear. Look down. There are so, so, so many hairballs. It is disgusting.

One of my staff does this every day of his life. His roommate works with us as well and confirms it. Dude will game until 10am, then crash for a couple of hours and be into work at 1pm. Rinse and repeat. Five days per week. Rolls out of bed with ten minutes to spare, throws on his uniform and starts walking. I don’t know how he survives the lifestyle, but I guess it’s working for him.

I remember at least liking it a fair bit because it played a lot like Halo 1. I was a huge fan of the original and never cared as much for the sequels. I remember all of my friends got really into ODST, and I hated the direction it had taken the gameplay. So when Reach came out and felt comfortable in my hands again, I was stoked.

Probably a fossil digging expedition.

My sister-in-law has them all throughout her house and I’m just like, “You know you have a teenage boy, right? You ready for that?”

Internet says there’s no admission, so I must have misremembered that part. We did look around the gift shop a bit.

My wife and I found ourselves near Mt. Rushmore by happenstance durin a road trip several years back. We knew the history, but stopped in to see it for ourselves. We found it to be extremely shitty and underwhelming. The natural area behind the monument was incredible, and I absolutely understand why the indigenous people believed this place to be sacred, but the front was small, tacky, and depressing. I wish I could refund our admission and give it to some chill natives at a gas station instead.

There was so much magic in this game. That soundtrack and overall atmosphere was incredible. I remember trying it in little bite-sized pieces at Toys R Us and the McDonald’s lobby and being really blown away.

I’m formally launching the #tellthem campaign.