I haven’t had a cigarette since 2014, but I’ll have one now since Gary went through all the trouble.

The hogs will never betray you. If they do, you were never running with the hogs to begin with.

My mom had a horse just like that (maybe not the eyes) and we would often ride her around our woods/property. There was a part of our swamp that was just muck, water and leaves beneath dead, spindly trees, and any time we would get close to that I would flip the fuck out because of this scene. No goliath turtles, though.

The best burnt-out sign I have come across was in my city back in 2019. It was a huge, red SENTINEL STORAGE sign, but the TO was no longer illuminated, so it left “SENTINELS RAGE” burning ominously in the night.

Here is the absolute shit-tier photo I managed to snap while driving.

I have been there. I have seen him myself. If you too find yourself standing before him, do not fear. Look down. There are so, so, so many hairballs. It is disgusting.

One of my staff does this every day of his life. His roommate works with us as well and confirms it. Dude will game until 10am, then crash for a couple of hours and be into work at 1pm. Rinse and repeat. Five days per week. Rolls out of bed with ten minutes to spare, throws on his uniform and starts walking. I don’t know how he survives the lifestyle, but I guess it’s working for him.

I remember at least liking it a fair bit because it played a lot like Halo 1. I was a huge fan of the original and never cared as much for the sequels. I remember all of my friends got really into ODST, and I hated the direction it had taken the gameplay. So when Reach came out and felt comfortable in my hands again, I was stoked.

Probably a fossil digging expedition.

My sister-in-law has them all throughout her house and I’m just like, “You know you have a teenage boy, right? You ready for that?”

Internet says there’s no admission, so I must have misremembered that part. We did look around the gift shop a bit.

My wife and I found ourselves near Mt. Rushmore by happenstance durin a road trip several years back. We knew the history, but stopped in to see it for ourselves. We found it to be extremely shitty and underwhelming. The natural area behind the monument was incredible, and I absolutely understand why the indigenous people believed this place to be sacred, but the front was small, tacky, and depressing. I wish I could refund our admission and give it to some chill natives at a gas station instead.

There was so much magic in this game. That soundtrack and overall atmosphere was incredible. I remember trying it in little bite-sized pieces at Toys R Us and the McDonald’s lobby and being really blown away.

I’m formally launching the #tellthem campaign.

That cat was born in a pool of gasoline, on a piece of rusty scrap metal!

I maintain that if drug-sniffing dogs actually knew what it was that they were doing, none of them would be drug-sniffing dogs.

Wild how accurate this is. My five-year-old is tough as nails because we’ve never once overreacted to her having a spill. Always, always play it cool like nothing even happened. Smile and make light of it. “Holy smokes, kid! You’re like a tumbling monkey!” They’ll usually realize it was kind of funny.

Unless they get up and start bawling frantically, they’re neither hurt nor afraid.

I fucked my wife in the bathroom window of the Hyatt in Calgary, in front of a beautiful, sprawling downtown core. The trick was to leave the lights off inside the room.

When I was a kid my dad told me not to fuck with the insulation. I fucked with the insulation. I should not have fucked with the insulation.

You know, I went onto DALL-E/Bing Image Creator to the to generate a photo-realistic image of a slug partying beneath the stars, and that piece of shit does not know what a slug is. Every single prompt just gave me snails. But maybe they were disco snails.

Great video, BTW.

I love the night frame. He’s partying so hard out there by himself in his solitude beneath the stars.