• GarbageShoot [he/him]@hexbear.net
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    1 year ago

    Support prostitutes by means other than being a John. Do a Holden Caulfield if you like and pay for their time to just hang out, idk. The John is instinsically in a position of power by using money to be entitled to sex, and is part of the social violence of coercing desperate people into dangerous and frequently traumatizing* labor.

    *look up ptsd rates

  • DrQuint@lemm.ee
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    1 year ago

    No judgement. BUT. I have slightly less of an opinion of those who do it when visiting a foreign country. Like a number of other things (such as gambling) I don’t quite like the idea of a city having their citizens relying on sex tourism for sustainability, which by itself is whatever. But mixing that with the concept of fetishizing other races makes it icky. I can’t imagine a man with “class” doing it.

    • GarbageShoot [he/him]@hexbear.net
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      1 year ago

      You are ignoring the very important element of poverty. The prostitutes in these countries (SE Asia, historically Eastern Europe) are typically desperately poor and these tourists are burning money on leveraging the wealth they have from the imperial core to basically use these people as slaves, typically with few words that even could be spoken between then and no recourse for the prostitute if the john gets violent (what is she going to do, tell the cops that she was assaulted by the westerner she was prostituting for? Whose side would they take?)

    • CanadaPlus@lemmy.sdf.org
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      1 year ago

      If you support the sex workers, this is the main answer. If you like them but not their clients how is that supposed to work economically?

      • aaaaaaadjsf [he/him, comrade/them]@hexbear.net
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        1 year ago

        If you like them but not their clients how is that supposed to work economically?

        The Nordic or neo-abolitionist model exists. Sweden was the first nation to implement it I think. Selling sex is legal, buying is not. Seems to work for them

        • gilly3@programming.dev
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          1 year ago

          You’ve got that backwards. In Sweden, buying is illegal, selling is not. Essentially turning the customer into a rapist and the seller into a victim. And rightly so! Considering that most women selling sex are doing so because of human trafficking, or at least coercion or desperation, it’s cruel, immoral, and ironic that they are criminalized in the rest of the world outside of Sweden and the other countries that have followed their model.

          Men who pay for sex are the driving force behind human trafficking.

          • Emanuel@lemmy.eco.br
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            1 year ago

            I think you are agreeing with the post above yours. They said that selling sex is legal, while buying is not.

  • M68040 [they/them]@hexbear.net
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    1 year ago

    Most of what I know is informed by stereotypes from various facets of American pop culture and not reality so my opinion is not valuable

        • AcidSmiley [she/her]@hexbear.net
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          1 year ago

          She’s a hexbear user. We have pronoun tags for a reason. She doesn’t state they/them as her pronouns so please edit your post to not misgender her.

          • chicken@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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            1 year ago

            “They” is a more general word and does not specify gender. Personally I use that word when I want it to be clear I am not implying that gender is relevant to my statement. It isn’t inaccurate and people shouldn’t always have to include references to gender in everything they say.

            • AcidSmiley [she/her]@hexbear.net
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              1 year ago

              Every. Single. Fucking. Time. I point out misgendering and some cissie has the fucking nerve to argue with me why blatantly degendering women, a common smear tactic among British terfs btw, isn’t a bad thing akshually. “oH i’M oNlY dOiG tHiS wHeN gEnDeR iSn’T rElEvAnT”, the fuck are you talking about, respecting trans people’s gender is ALWAYS relevant, you do not get to decide on this. This is our decision alone, to deny trans people the autonomy over their gendered self expresion and gender recognition is a textbook case of transphobia.

              To make this perfectly clear: There is ONE, just ONE, correct response when somebody calls you out for misgendering somebody. It’s apologizing and correcting your mistake. That’s a tiny thing to do and takes a fraction of the time it takes to argue with me, and it will cause you one millionth of the distress you’re up for when you act transphobic in my presence. If she would be fine with being they / themed, she would have given they / them as a second set of pronouns. Why is that so hard to understand?

              • bungiefan_af@lemmy.basedcount.com
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                1 year ago

                You write a wall of text an get all worked up just because someone used “they” just to be neutral. No one is going to check your profiles one by one just to know your pronouns. This is the real world, no whatever crazy wuerdo echo chamber is hexabear.

                Maybe your suicide rates wouldn’t be so high if you didn’t get offended for basically nothing. Is not that you get discrimination against you, is that you can handle society as everyone else can.

  • artvandelay@lemm.ee
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    1 year ago

    The problem is exploitation which can and does happen in every industry. Sex work is no exception to that rule. Nobody is saying amazon needs to be abolished because of how they treat their workers. But some people see one industry or another as being inherently exploitative.

  • Hot Saucerman@lemmy.ml
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    1 year ago

    I want to live in a world where no one feels they are struggling so much that they need to turn to selling their body for sex.

    However, I don’t live in that world, so in the meantime I support sex workers, because sex work is work.


    The men who use their services? That’s a tougher nut to crack.

    My partners brother is heavily mentally disabled and pushing 40, he’s still very much like a child, but obviously does not have a child’s libido. This man has never had an intimate interaction with a woman. He might never get the chance, he struggles to talk to women, even women who have similar issues as himself. I think sex workers could be beneficial for him, in the right context, for giving him intimacy he may otherwise never experience. I don’t think he would ever think/know to pursue a sex worker, but I could be wrong. There’s also the issue of his emotions began to be involved, which leads me to…

    I’d be more worried about him finding OnlyFans and blowing through all his disability money each month instead of realizing he’s not actually getting much out of such a “relationship.” He’s the kind of person who a parasocial relationship like that could really damage their already troubling mental health. The same thing could happen with a prostitute, but they are less likely to hang the relationships on fake social cues that say they care about you. He’s not quite advanced enough to understand that these women are being paid to pretend to care, I don’t think.


    Also, there’s other types of men who use these services I’m sure aren’t a net positive. There are plenty of conservative men who already view a standard relationship as a sexual transaction (I take care of girl = she give me sex), so they’re not far from viewing everything women with transactional already. Secondly, not only do the already view it as transactional, many of these conservative men turn to prostitutes because average women simply don’t want to date them because of their horrible, outdated views on women’s bodily autonomy. They are already angsty and moody because of women not wanting to date them, and they often are willing to take out their frustrations on the woman they paid to serve them. I see these men as not respecting and hurting the women they turn to for sex work.


    Anyway, just some quick thoughts on the subject.

    • FederatedSaint@lemmy.world
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      1 year ago

      I want to live in a world where no one feels they are struggling so much that they need to turn to selling their body for sex.

      You see, that’s the problem. You are implicitly devaluing sex work compared to other professions. You’re not acknowledging that some people actually want to, and choose to do sex work. There’s nothing wrong whatsoever with someone choosing prostitution, stripping, escort, etc.

      Could you say your same statement about being a lawyer? A teacher? An engineer?

      “I want to live in a world where no one feels they are struggling so much that they need to turn to being an engineer.”

      You see how weird that sounds? So why can you say it about sex work? Do you see how derisive you’re being toward it as a profession? Funny that you say you’re supportive while implying that what they’re doing is a last resort…🤦‍♂️

      • redballooon@lemm.ee
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        1 year ago

        I think the error is on your side. Nothing that OC said denies that some sex workers like and choose what they do. These exist.

        But it’s doubtable that these are in majority, and nothing what you say acknowledges that many many sex workers don’t have much choice.

        • FederatedSaint@lemmy.world
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          1 year ago

          Check yourself dude. The mere fact that you say “it’s doubtable these are in the majority” shows EXACTLY what you think of sex work. Your attitude of “ugh that’s so pitiful, no one would do that willingly, they must be forced into it” is fucking offensive.

          Millions of people feel stuck in their jobs and “don’t feel like they have much choice.” Walmart, coffee shops, data entry, whatever. But if it’s sex work, all of a sudden it’s something to be ashamed of?

          Yeah, sure there’s trafficking out there, and that is horrible. But don’t conflate the two. Don’t just assume that someone doing sex work is being trafficked. Just like you don’t constantly assume someone doing any other job must also be a trafficked slave or something. Get it?

  • Godric@lemmy.world
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    1 year ago

    Logically, if it’s two consenting adults, why not?

    Personally, fucking ew.

    Overall, if you are single, you do you! If you have someone waiting at home, go fuckin sort yourself, never be a cheater.