Oof, even better. My parents (undiagnosed autistic and ADHD) way overcorrected as a coping mechanism and tried to create the same reaction in their kids. My siblings and I had to do a lot of unlearning, and some parts of it still feel inseparable from who we are.
Well, first make sure you’re constantly masking because people won’t like you if you’re not sociable and polite, even if it means that you’re so overstimulated that you have zero patience with your loved ones. Then, worry about everything all the time so that you don’t forget important things. Lastly, if there’s a way to sacrifice your own needs to better fit with society, make sure you always do it- I avoided being late to my short-contract job less than 80km away by leaving three to four hours early, even though it fucked my sleep up.
Late 30’s here, and I recently accepted enough to allow myself to try and unmask a little. Didn’t even know I had one, thought I was just anxious. It’s scary trying to be myself, ngl. Feels nice, but also makes me nervous just thinking about it. It’s wild
Pearls stem from a chronic irritant. Probably feels good.
Honestly, this could be a good metaphor for people who have internalized harmful coping mechanisms as “part of who they are” learning to heal.
Perls are made by placing the right irritant for pearl production in there on purpose.
Oof, even better. My parents (undiagnosed autistic and ADHD) way overcorrected as a coping mechanism and tried to create the same reaction in their kids. My siblings and I had to do a lot of unlearning, and some parts of it still feel inseparable from who we are.
Can you share some of those unhealthy coping mechanisms by any chance? So uh…a friend of mine can avoid them?
Well, first make sure you’re constantly masking because people won’t like you if you’re not sociable and polite, even if it means that you’re so overstimulated that you have zero patience with your loved ones. Then, worry about everything all the time so that you don’t forget important things. Lastly, if there’s a way to sacrifice your own needs to better fit with society, make sure you always do it- I avoided being late to my short-contract job less than 80km away by leaving three to four hours early, even though it fucked my sleep up.
I started my 30s recognizing these issues and I’m still unlearning and relearning and unlearning and…
Late 30’s here, and I recently accepted enough to allow myself to try and unmask a little. Didn’t even know I had one, thought I was just anxious. It’s scary trying to be myself, ngl. Feels nice, but also makes me nervous just thinking about it. It’s wild
Damn… I feel called out a little. Hope the strides you’ve made have been great my friend
Perl is no different than black magic
Perl is the irritant
There we go, let’s bring this all full circle back to a teachable moment lol
Look at this hotshot, learned how to reframe negative thinking. “Ohhh, look at me! Therapy was therapeutic for me”… lame
/s if not obvious, love you