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Joined 3 years ago
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Cake day: July 16th, 2023

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  • But the whole premise is flawed. Having to “blame” someone for your own decisions is always a sign of not exactly being in control of yourself and your life. It’s always a sign of not being exactly mentally fit. Because this action in itself is a sign that you don’t take responsibility for your own actions, but instead look for someone else to blame your decision on.

    I would argue that children and teenagers are generally susceptible to this while being perfectly developmentally healthy (though of course, not fully mature). It’s great that you weren’t susceptible to those pressures, but many others are at those ages, and that’s not indicative of any mental weakness. Susceptibility to peer pressure is a helpfully adaptive trait in many ways (it goes a long way towards making people generally more hygienic and friendly, for example), it’s just value neutral for people who aren’t yet good at predicting the long-term consequences of their decisions.

    I don’t see OOP doing that in the cartoon. She takes responsibility for her own actions. “I peer pressured myself”. She realized the mechanism at play (she wanted to fit in, and thus did something she actually didn’t want to do) and took responsibility for it. She’s not looking for blame anywhere at all.

    In the cartoon, no, but the OP of this thread phrased it a little more actively. I don’t have a problem with it and think it was chosen for comic effect (successfully, imo), but I think that’s what your parent commenter was responding to.


  • idiomaddict@lemmy.worldtoLemmy Shitpost@lemmy.worldSure
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    4 days ago

    Tbh, uber incentivizes that afaik, because there’s no time differential. If I take a taxi driver on a slower or longer route, they get paid for both mileage and time, so it’s actually to their benefit. Of course, there’s a risk that they’re intentionally drawing it out, so you need to pay attention, but I tend to use buses/trains over livery in areas I’m unfamiliar with.


  • It’s wild to say but I feel like the literally criminally insane men I was working with taught me better people skills than my parents did.

    That actually sounds pretty reasonable to me (not to excuse your parents, if applicable). It’s not the same thing at all, but I learned much better people skills from living with a boyfriend who had abandoned his treatment for and didn’t tell me about his paranoid schizophrenia than from anyone else. He read so much into everything I said, that I learned to speak very deliberately.

    When you are working with people with a very different perspective on the world that you can’t change, and neither party feels entitled to acceptance because of family, you need to learn how to treat others respectfully and with dignity to succeed.