I have a 16-year-old son. I’m in my early 30s (had him very young) and a professional footballer. My son also dreams of becoming a successful footballer (he’s been playing since he was 6), but he’s just… not great. He’s good, but not great - and in this extremely competitive industry you need to be at least great in order to even stand a chance. So I told him, as someone who’s been doing this for a very, very long time & is active in this sphere, that he should find another, more attainable dream. He took it as me not believing in him, but I’m just objective and realistic.
Our circumstances are very different. I’m from a dirt poor family. Football was a free / cheap sport to practice. I was also not very academically inclined. For me it was football or nothing, no backup plans, as I wanted to make money. I dropped out of school & moved into the club’s dorms to fully focus on that. I didn’t really have any other options. He, on the other hand, has all the resources and support in the world to choose any other path. He’s also doing great in school.
I don’t think you’re a jerk. I think you’re extremely fortunate. A guy in my old neighborhood had no backup plans, and one injury with permanent repurcuasions left him angry, bitter and hostile, also violent. I think you did the best you could on the spur of the moment, that’s fine. You are free to adjust as you seek wisdom. Best of luck to both of you!
Could he have any interest in taking on other roles, like training or management? If he’s doing great in school, and has a direct connection to learning the ins and the outs of the industry through you, as well as connections, he could have a significant leg up.
Sounds like you have had a very productive life! Your son is very lucky.
Encourage the education. But there are loads of good careers that don’t need university degrees.
And all the while, he can try and achieve his dream.
From personal experience, university wasn’t useful for me - other than giving me time to figure out what I don’t want to do, and meeting friends that are still friends to this day.
But I could’ve easily done an apprenticeship, or gone straight into some industry/company. Some days, I wish I had. Other days, I wouldn’t want to be doing anything other than what I am atm.
Dream case, he makes it.
Best case, he figures out what he wants to do by 21.
Worst case, he’s still figuring it out when he’s 25.
I wasn’t making decent money until I was late 20s. Even now, I can’t guarantee I have enough work next year. It’s extremely likely, but I’m self employed so…
Knowing my folks will still support me means I can continue pursuing interesting, useful and innovative things, even in my 30s - even tho the support is no longer required.
Maybe talk to some of your contacts in the football industry.
See if they have similar “football or nothing”, or if they had backup plans.
Talk to some managers, coaches, sports scientists, medics etc.
Ask them how they would get into pro football. Ask them what happens to pro-football aspiring players that don’t make the cut.
Use your experience and connections to help and support your son. And be there if it doesn’t work out.
You might know better, but he still has to learn. The best lessons are mistakes.