A relationship should never be used as a means to have sex. That will only hurt people. And a relationship is so, so much more than just sex.

Honestly, to me it sounds like you don’t really want a (romantic) relationship in the first place. And that’s completely fine. Don’t try to force something on yourself that you don’t want. That will only hurt your partner and disappoint you. It’s completely fine to just want friends with benefits or one night stands (or both, as long as you’re careful). You do you.

When people have created a narrative that “white x y z men” are responsible for all the evil in the world (I’m exagerating, but you get my drift), it creates a very difficult situation when those people are facing some serious difficulties. The intellectually lazy thing to do in that case is to brush it off or minimize it, like in the ways you’ve described. And unfortunately, that’s the route those same people will take, since identity politics are intellectually lazy (and lacking compassion, but that’s another story).

The unfortunate part of it is that the right has taken advantage of that wide open flank, which is one main reasons we’re in this current clusterfuck.

As @myotheraccount mentioned, this is 330km/h, but yes, they still need drivers. On the high speed lines, the train can do quite a bit on its own, but you still need a driver to take care of the stops at stations, for non-high speed sections which generally don’t have the automation infrastructure, and for the case the something doesn’t work or go as intended.

There’s not much of a need to “keep an eye on the machines”, they’re pretty sturdy, made to go at that speed and have gone through a number of tests to ensure everything works the way it should. Unless we’re doing a test run, but that’s another story.

Reminds me of an ad from over a decade ago. (For those who speak German: youtube, sorry, I want able to get an invidious Link working )

A woman is sitting at a bar, and a man in a suit comes up and sits right next to her, taps his car keys on the table, and then lays them on the table and moves them towards her.

“400 horsepower, 12 cylinders, top speed 296…” He nods proudly. “Tomorrow evening 7 o’clock?”

She grabs a large key on her keychain and shows it to him: “10,877 horsepower, top speed 330, tomorrow morning, 8:43…” She puts the key on the table and pushes it next to his key. “…track 7”.

The ad was from the German railroad attempting to recruit drivers.

It’s an announcement to stay as far away as possible from whoever said that. Might even call it negging.

That’s the next frustrating part - as soon as you mention something like that, many people assume that you’re nice just hoping that it gets you laid or something. Of course, if you’re doing something nice to someone just to get laid - of course that’s manipulative. And that’s the thing - manipulative assholes tend to be more successful in that regard! I insist on being nice despite it making things more difficult when it comes to dating. I don’t use it to guilt trap people into doing anything with me they don’t want to. The one time I was able to help someone out of an abusive situation (which, to be clear, I didn’t do to somehow get together with her - I never had any interest in a relationship with her), that was actually one of the main things we worked on - ensuring that she listens more to herself and what she wants, and that she has every right to say no, no matter who it is. But it’s frustrating to see when people do start using guilt tripping and end up getting way further than I do. My moral compass is more important. It doesn’t change the fact that that being a disadvantage can be pretty frustrating. Think about it like this: imagine you have a job at a normal company - let’s say in public works - and make an OK living. It’s not great, you really have to budget, but you can afford rent and groceries. But then you see your neighbor making multiple times what you make - by manipulating and scamming people. You will never do the “work” he does, because it’s morally reprehensible. That doesn’t change the fact that when you look at the situation, you probably go: “that’s not exactly fair”.

No, it’s not a success for the abused, that’s for sure. For the abuser though, they often feed on their victim in a way. The abuser generally uses their victim to regulate their own emotions. So for the abuser, it’s a success, even though everyone else loses.

That’s what I was trying to get at with saying I’m not referring to manipulative jerks - the kind you find on r/niceguys. Because they aren’t nice. Yeah, that’s not how life works. And that’s fucked up, which is my point, and goes to show that yes, nice guys often do finish last, even though that statement has been given a bad reputation by places like r/niceguys. Being nice, carrying and loving is an inherently good quality, that we want to see in people. So when it gives you a disadvantage while dating, giving the advantage to the abusive asshole, then you start wondering what the hell is wrong with the world (among many other things). I try to be my best self - regardless of the whole dating thing - because I find it important to be someone with a strong moral compass, who cares for people. We already have enough selfish assholes on this planet and I refuse to be one, even if that does negatively affect other parts of my life. But man, does it get frustrating. And how does that mean “I’m doing it wrong”? I’ve lived abuse. I know how horrific it is. Why would it not be being my best self to help other abuse victims get out of their abusive situations and help them improve their lives when I can?