The Internet is still cool, you idiots just keep going to the same five sites.

Shame no one couldn’t hear that last panel.

Thank God, he finally looks normal.

This standard would have probably caught on if they wouldn’t have gone and made it backwards.

Objectively you are more likely to need to know the day first, then the month then the year, and when people get lazy they always just leave off the year because it is assumed, but if the year is first you have to say the whole thing or sound stupid.

Help me Satan!

Eggshittification

Assuming you’re a mortal, you shouldn’t have to worry about it in your lifetime. However, if you have sold your soul for immortality, you should wash once every 666th celestial alignment. CAUTION! You should never use regular soap and water, especially anything marketed as sacred or holy water, as this can agitate the skin. Instead, you can find chicken blood in the meat department, or sometimes it is labeled as fishing bait. This is an all-natural alternative. Don’t be afraid to experiment by making your own—there’s nothing quite like organic, homemade products, and you can use higher-quality ingredients than what you find in stores, such as sheep’s blood or the blood of your firstborn. Your immortal soul will thank you for it—oops, silly you, you already sold that.

Jesus really does protect us.

Linard! Why Isn’t your GPS tracking device working.

I’ll fix it right away

One year later

Linard, I need to commend you, you’ve been in office 24/7 365.

Early to bed early to rise makes a woman hot sweat and sigh.

Because Ghost Dad keeps dressing Ghost Sun as a Ghost.

I prioritized Lying a long time ago and suddenly I can do anything.

I heard the next Update they are adding in crippling debt as his final move.

After all that I still get brittle bone disease!?!

What? You said you wanted your Bones less dense, do you know how much bone I had to remove to let you fly with hummingbird wings?

What do you do to play with your dog?

I have a squeaky.squeeeeeek

And what about your cat?

Oh, I can’t play with him until I pay Big Jimmie $200 for the meth.

“Obama/Biden were good for Europe”

Were they though? I mean really?

They convinced the entire western world to depend on them for military protection as America has been doing since the end of WWII, knowing full well that when push comes to shove they are still under the American government, and they used that Hard power to gain soft power in everything from trade to economics to diplomacy, the USA has been slowly accumulating power all while convincing Europe to disarm.

Trump is no more against Europe than the rest of the presidents he’s just an idiot who showed the mice the cheese in the trap.

Gotta say, for all y’all mocked the good ol US of A, you sure put a lot of faith in it. Trust to a fault.

A government is a collection of people working together to maintain power.

It does not include everyone because they simply do not need everyone, given the trillions of dollars they have they could easily afford to pay for as many people as they need if that was the most efficient use of their money, given they can increase to the size of the population under one unified cause we can assume a fragmented group of people with there own agendas would be a less effective force than the majority of stable government’s

WAR BAD.

How about this:

Violence is never a good solution but a necessary one and one any functioning government will prevent its populous from using against themselves or else they would no longer function as a a government so the best we can ask for is a government that does the least harm and considering we have had a longer span of peace than any preceding civilisation then we can conclude a violent uprising would cause more harm than good so we should except the status quo given it’s net benefit to the collective, however there will inevitably be those who society is less beneficial too so much so that a revolution would be beneficial but the individual cannot rule the collective because that would be a dictator and no stable society could exist when one man has grievances against it can dismantle it so we must always weigh the the against the benefits heavily before considering any sort of rebellion while simultaneously keeping in mind the overwhelming likelihood that it will outright fail given the powerful by definition have more power than the weak and include the resulting loss in our calculation.

What do you think? To wordy or will it catch on?