



I hide them in my foreskin. WAY more flattering.


The Moon is 384,400 km away from Earth. If you took every elephant on Earth and stacked them one atop another most of them would die.
I saw them in '06 and he was doing it back then too. He had the decency to materialize for the encore at least.
As a teenager my buddy’s mom told us a joke.
What does NASA stand for?
Needs Another Seven Astronauts
Pro-commonwealth Canadians?
We call them “boomers” up here
They mass produce Wagyu cattle and yet aren’t famous for their steak. (Their Wagyu is my favourite beef too)
I’m not hating or rage bait, I truly believe in their chefs. I want them to get creative.
It’s a viable placeholder until Australia produces a cuisine good enough.
Has anyone ever said “Hey babe let’s go to the Australian restaurant tonight”
I don’t think Australians even say that.
Soap tastes bitter. I’ll pass. I want natural bean.
Crispy for her disgust.


Hence me exercising extreme discipline for when the news arrives😎
I’ll happily turn it into urine then.
Wouldn’t you be?


I cannot enjoy rye whiskey at all. I’ll tolerate scotch or Irish but I’m a bourbon man through and through. I have an unopened bottle of pre-Trump Woodford waiting for that glorious day.


Reported.


Classic dilemma
Every once in a while I’ll say something completely incorrect so she talks science to me.


Stahp it step preacher I can only get so turgid