I lived in a tiny town where the candy store owner was best friends with the only dentist. There was a running joke in the entire town that the two of them were plotting to get rich off everyone.

Ni hao. Ni hao ma? Wo hen hao.

Sorry I haven’t learnt how to write Chinese yet.

Life is like this

If you want two espresso shots, then you could just have them straight up.

Do you know that a latte is espresso with milk?

It doesn’t really make sense why you would water them down with a bunch of ice

Why not order a hot latte, and a cup of ice on the side so you can add a couple cubes? or simply wait for it to cool down to the temperature of your preference.

Have you tried ordering a medium iced latte with light ice in other countries?

I use navigation to go to the grocery store.

Hold on to your butts!

I think they chose to request asylum in the US. They are part of the gay community here. They only provided a short, funny version of their asylum experience, claiming they told whoever that they are very gay, and we’re granted asylum.

I know a Saudi in the United States that got asylum because they are gay.

People don’t wear sunglasses at night

Señor, esto es un Wendy’s.

I would get her something small. A bag of chocolate truffles, a box of tea, cookies. Especially if you know of something she enjoys. It’s not so important what it is, it’s more about the thought that counts. And then give them your condolences again.

Some people want to talk about their mother. You can ask her something about her mother, and let her talk as much as she wants.

For real?

Don’t worry. Just enjoy the ride.

I’ll have two please!

vomit and shit pure oil immediately afterwards. gross.

Drink olive oil = have very oily shits. Be careful.

Why not a 6 hour nap?

I shower when my hair gets itchy

More people should get hired, go through training, then leave.