*titatoni

Who’s gonna tell the dude he’s holding the magic ∞ ball wrong?..

This is why I don’t prevent forest fires, Smokey is just trying to get the home field advantage on me…

Statistically, at least half of changes are just indentation anyway

Is this a banksy? I’ll see myself out…

Then you realize that’s your bathroom and you never had a tinder date…

Where’s the Sunday night stress when you realize you’ll have to deal with it all again tomorrow?

If that helps curb the chance of nuclear apocalypse I’d take solar flare stone age apocalypse. Would still suck, but in a different way.

This but watching Scrubs for me, some of those episodes just hit you like a ton of bricks. It’s cathartic…

“They were after his charms, but I sucked them up first”

The same thing that stops them from pooping in the sinks, absolutely nothing…

The only real problem is the skewed background, but that could be explained by bad photoshop

iCommonMistake is actually an Erik Tesla product, simple error

I’m from South Jersey, not sure who is keeping the Olive Gardens open but it’s not me. I don’t know what you’re looking for, but it’s a nice state for the most part, but I’ll admit I’m biased. I think most of the shit is because New York and Philadelphia have us sandwiched in between them and they’re very vocal cities with a lot of pride in themselves so we’re the easy punching bag. Just don’t force us to pump our own gas and there won’t be any problems!

I’d just rip off the “thanks” part and wait…

He’s a machine that turns mountain dew into piss balloons, and the cashier is rightfully impressed.

You know the phrase, walk softly and pick up all the sticks that look cool

– Dr. NeverSneezer Scrooge

Nerdfighteria sites their sources.

My Duolingo addiction is finally validated! I knew it wasn’t just a weird fetish for culo de búho!

May 16th 2011… Pretty sure this is an April fools joke, and like everything in government it was a month and a half late.