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Joined 2 years ago
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Cake day: June 12th, 2023

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  • Flirting is a pretty nebulous term.

    My personal definition of flirting is any positive expression or behavior which:

    1. Is an exception to your typical behavior or affect.
    2. Targeted at a specific person, typically someone new.
    3. Is heightened or marked by increased volume, nervousness, etc.

    examples:

    A typically reserved guy pulling you aside and animatedly asking about your interest.

    A woman who normally doesn’t touch you is repeatedly teasing you about your shirt, pulling on the fabric.

    A good friend begins to repeatedly and unexpectedly invite you over for one on one movie nights despite obvious inconveniences.

    That’s just my opinion, though. I believe most people are looking for these heightened expressions of flirting to confirm interest.


  • Perhaps they assumed that you felt obligated to speak to them, and they felt the need to absolve you of that obligation. That would be the literal meaning of the phrase.

    A different interpretation could be that they didn’t want to continue the conversation. In this scenario, they would prefer to be silent, and by suggesting that, “You don’t have to do this,” they have given you a polite, symbolic agency in ending the conversation, implying that both of you would rather be silent. In this way, instead of directly rejecting you, the decision to be silent would be shared. It’s a way of allowing you to save face.

    Note that just because they might want to be silent, doesn’t mean that they dislike you. There are many reasons why people might know to speak at any given moment, and some people are just shy.

    It’s hard to say which interpretation is correct without hearing the tone of voice, and understanding the general situation. There could be other factors or other interpretations as well.







  • This is not a service I personally use, but I’ve thought about it: services like mysudo let you select and create new phone numbers. https://anonyome.com/individuals/mysudo-plans/

    In your situation I might research and select a service like this. Then create a few disposable numbers. Give one to your trusted friends and family, another to employers and banks, etc, and the third to anyone else you need to contact.

    Once you’ve transitioned everything important to the new numbers, get yourself a new phone number, and don’t give it to anyone. Maybe just your parents, for emergencies.

    This has 2 downsides and 2 big advantages I can see.

    Cons:

    1, it cost you monthly. I think 3 numbers from mysudo is like $5 a month

    2, it’s a pain to transition folks to your new number.

    Pros:

    1, if your stalker finds one of your new numbers, it’s easier to change them.

    2, you can narrow down who it might be. Like, if you have a number dedicated to work contacts and the stalker starts texting it, you know they either are a coworker or got it from a coworker.

    I think Google voice can also give you some free numbers, so look into that. Good luck!