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Cake day: September 10th, 2026

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  • I’ve witnessed many lithium battery fires with my own eyes, as part of my job (long story, not as interesting as it may sound), and while there is a lot of heat and energy involved, to the point where it competes with a hand grenade in terms of energy density, the energy release isn’t nearly as instantaneous (except from special circumstances regarding primary cells, but that’s also a long tangent that isn’t as interesting as it may sound).

    The main concern is the offgassing and the heat. I am not a corpsologist, but I believe offgassing shouldn’t present a problem in a crematorium. I hear they have advanced hitech gadgets such as “chimnseys” and “filters”. (Citation needed)

    As for the heat, lithium battery fires reach 1100 degrees C under optimal condition and while that is, to use a technical term, hot as fuck, anything built to withstand cremation temperatures every day for years should be able to withstand lithium fires that one day. It will certainly get hot, but probably not destructively so.

    As a final note, yes, there will be pressure release, but the pressure wave is most likely negligible compared to the structural integrity necessary for a crematorium to carry its own weight. As briefly mentioned before, the pressure release of a battery is not instantaneous, and this is by design.