modifier

I would pay twice that for the novelty alone. I fucking love tacos.

I reject your entire premise!

He is certainly one of the most likely to die in office. Just on a purely actuarial basis, I should think.

I am just the right age for this meme.

It’s just as good as 2008 google, which is all I want.

Is that a crest I see before me?

Y’know, it really takes the fun out of my overly broad and unnecessarily spiteful pronouncements when you force me to contemplate real stuff like that.

Anyone stupid enough to be using edge on purpose deserves what they get at this point.

Ahoy there matey.

I was literally touching my penis when my eyes alit on this post.

My first thought was that this was an incredible coincidence, and worthy of remark, but now I’m starting to wonder if maybe I’m subconsciously handling this thing more than I realize.

Just tap on the side before you open it. Bottles or cans, every time. Just make it a habit any time you’re opening something: tap, tap, open.

I fear no pop.

Wait wait wait, WINDOWS installed?

Exactly.

We prefer Speed tape. It’s a little stronger but just as ubiquitous.

I’ve worked in commercial aviation for 20+ years. In that time I have flown on hundreds of trips, on aircraft of all sizes, ages and manufacturers. I have visited crash sites mid-cleanup and had the odd sensation of smelling familiar airplane smells perverted by burned Jet-A. I have provided logistical support to families grieving the loss of their loved ones due to the actions of the airline I worked for. In other words, I have spent a lot of time highly aware of how catastrophic a crash can be, but I never felt unsafe flying in all that time because the system itself still felt safe.

Last week my kid flew to Florida, and I have never been so nervous. I almost told them to cancel but that would have freaked them out even more and made me look crazy. But the system doesn’t feel safe now. It is not in safe hands.

Push out a saucer of milk and provide updates please.

One day soon we will look back fondly to when this was a joke.

Ken M is a balm on my very sole in these trying times.

Say hi to your great-grandkids

Now accepting preorders for black t-shirts with simple block letters across the chest:

JAMES 5:1-6

On the back:

THE INERRANT WORD OF GOD