With your back up against the wall, you’d still only make it about half-way through. Depending on the mechanism, you’d either have your front half stuck, merged or exploded.

I’m a teenager with the mindset of a 9 year old (according to my neighbour), I work in fast food and will probably never do anything better. My co-workers make fun of me all day, and if I told my boss he would probably cut my already shit pay cause he’s a cheap bastard. My only friend is mentally r*tarded, and all we ever do together is stupid shit. I can’t leave my home town because I never learned how to drive, plus everytime I try I fail my driver’s test.

And you know what the worst part is?

I LIVE IN A FUCKING PINEAPPLE IN ALBANIA

You missed out the mountain racists and plain racists.

And who doesn’t want their bunghole reamed by a craftsman.

Uppercase certainly explains a lot.

It’s got the Cadmium bodies crave.

Some birds like use smoke as a way to fumigate their feathers, so will pick up embers and take them somewhere, as this is safer than standing next to a fire.

Common enough that they should really make them with flared bases.

Mr lover man obviously.

They clearly state they don’t use child labour, because the little cunts are too inefficient apparently. (Multiple reports show that children are specifically used in Chinese factories, including assembly lines for Apple and Samsung, because their small hand are better at assembling components.)

Defying the laws of gravity?

It’s excellent on an artichoke pizza though.

Half the comments on Lemmy are people fact checking one another.

Welcome to being older. The magic goes and the cynisism sets in. There is still hope though. If you can clear your eyes of the razzle dazzle of unfettered consumerism, you can realise it’s a nice time to spend with those you care about. Makes it an even better time of the year. Edit. I realise that sounds too flippantly jolly. My point was that for all of human history this has been a festival to stave off the deprivations of starving and freezing. I just feel this< angle is a good way to look at it.

Christmas has always been a celebration of mid winter ( more specifically the winter solstice in the northern hemisphere,) as far back as records go there has always been some variety of taking a evergreen tree as a symbol of the return of the sun. Red might be part of the evergreens berries (holly), but mostly it’s because coca cola advertised with a picture of St Nicklaus dressed in their corporate colours, instead of the traditional green.

Red for coca cola. To clarify.

Hard to tell without trimming the bush.

Linoleum is also antibacterial, which is a good property for a kitchen floor.

That every time people had sex, the woman became pregnant. I thought that every sex scene in a film meant the film had to be stopped for 9 months until the actress could give birth.