Almost rose-colored glasses

ULTRALORD!

In many cases, I think you need to figure out what (sources) is making you angry and trying to alter or remove that influence such that you are insulated from it. Anger should be listened to altho not necessarily the last word or sole authority on anything.

Anger is meant to protect you from being further harmed or taken advatnage of. It pays to consider what it is telling you and use it as a compass as well as an anti-compass in terms of who you should be involved with and who is problematic for your well-being

You gotta get yourself insulated to thr point that any further incursion is basically the perpetrator or associate stabbing themself in the own dick. You gotta get that shit happening on their dollar and time, not yours. Thats the only way it ever stops

Its all about easing them into consequences and you being insulated from it. Always insulate, help/force them off the boat into the sinking lifeboat with sharks at the ready to ease them into their destruction and elimination while you delicately whisper reassuring words into their hearts while ushering their transition home or wherever they belong (the place you take the liberty of determining in their stead for them).

Its a decision only you can be trusted to make for them but in time they will come to adjust to their new reality you’re helping shoehorn them into

Nothing you can do but go no contact (0%). He needs a time out and to reevaluate. You must be ok with whatever outcome that lays ahead since you cant control others, you can only set a boundary that says you won’t be discussing this or tolerating anybody who continues to revisit it.

They won’t like having control (control of You) wrestled away, particularly if they’re accustomed to that, so it might take them a while to adjust their behavior but it is necessary to resolve that dynamic. Make it clear that there will be no money talk or transactions flowing between you and if it comes up again, you will be taking a break for a month and then everyone can circle back and try again at that time.

If it happens again after you’ve had to enforce a month timeout, you have to decide if you want to do escalating consequences or if you want to start a full and longer-term no contact regime where they are completely blocked and unable to communicate with you any longer

If its escalating consequences, start at a lower threshold like say a week, any violations that happen after they’ve been welcomed back, adds to that or doubles it. I suggest doubling so

1. 1 week
2. 2 weeks
3. 4 weeks/month

If they refuse to respect it after that I would consider strongly making it permanent. They are adults and that is literally an extended tantrum they are and continue to throw to your detriment and without seemingly intelectually recognizing that they are not going to win this or beat you into submission somehow. Do not depend on them for anything or give them any bargaining chips. Once you impose a consequence, do not falter or they will sense weakness and persist or get worse.

You’re not helping her, right? She would just find a way to make you miserable with it anyway. People like that don’t help anyone but themself and even when they get their needs met themself or you, that doesn’t satisfy the desire to control and dominate you even still.

There should be a c/TotallyGuessing like an anti-ThatHappened or I guess thats what OddlySpecific is 4

If its in doubt or you’re conflicted, say no.

For everything else there’s maybe

Sufficiency + Necessity = perfect

Necessity + Sufficiency = Perfection

— me

As long as your objections either eventually get aired or you conclude any ongoing business in the absence of resolving those objections.

People shouldn’t be around others whenever there is resulting and continuous distress

How could they be coaxed to similary abandon their property like that? What current incentives exist that prevent them from having to do that particular needful?

Good Solar Opposite tshirt

I only mean that most of the time, the way people make themselves subservient to preserve relationships that aren’t organic or sustainable is moot anyway cuz they’ll can your ass the minute there’s any problem or inconvenience or reciprocity expected. Better to be proactive and get ahead of it by making better choices for yourself and turning down worse options now when you have discretion and someone isn’t forcing your move

Its also an easy way to cut the fat in terms of relationships that are past their shelf life

What does this mean lmao?

Next you’re gonna tell me sex is a product?!

Try to care a little less (say 1%) each day about what others think of you. I don’t mean be uncivil or degenerate per se but rather try to say yes to yourself more and less to others until you feel there’s a better balance. People care way to much about what others think about them at massive cost to themselves and its not healthy or actually even desireable.

The person who is most authentic and self-nourished will always win, sort of an extension to the notion that the person who cares the least has the most power. Relationships come and go but you gotta learn to live with and as you and to chase only what you know in your heart to be correct for you

Badger Badger Mushroom

Whats wrong with this one or do you mean this is an outlier?

Elmer’s White Glue is too vanilla