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Cake day: July 1st, 2024

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  • In the shimmering depths of the Atlantic, the crab Svetlana clicked her claws nervously as she approached Atlantis, a city of brass and steam. Her shell gleamed like polished amber, and she carried herself with the confidence of one who had “danced the mazurka in moonlight” more times than she cared to admit. Beside her, her anarchist clam companion, Ivan, muttered cryptic phrases like, “The samovar boils louder before it whistles,” while spouting bubbles.

    The city was in chaos. Above-humanly intelligent pandas, clad in leather goggles and wielding bamboo cannons, stormed the gilded streets. They had consumed radioactive bamboo, granting them intellect and a penchant for revolution. Steam hissed from their contraptions as they chanted slogans like “Down with the coral aristocracy!”

    Svetlana was overwhelmed but determined. Ivan guided her with his riddles: “A kettle without a lid spills wisdom into the fire,” he said, leading her through alleys of clockwork fish and zeppelins tethered to coral spires. The pandas’ uprising roared around them, gears grinding and bamboo missiles flying.

    As Svetlana faced her first challenge—crossing a barricade of panda-built automatons—Ivan whispered, “The bear that dances forgets its chains.” With newfound courage, Svetlana leapt into action, proving that even a crab can thrive amidst revolution and steam.







  • This image is obviously fake if you overlay all reindeers side-by-side they have the exact same outline. This was just one template reindeer which was copied five times. Also, if you look at the back of the sledge there’s some sort of light reflex at the side of it, despite being facing away from the light source. But most importantly, Santa does not carry oil. So why would the US military engage him?