It’s simple. He sacrificed himself to himself so we can avoid the punishment that he made up for breaking the rules he made up.

Jeez, I haven’t drank that much in my entire life

My dad is still running this exact computer, but he only uses it to print one certain thing a month

But how do we know Asia’s coastline isn’t more jaggedy?

I don’t think we can read that much into it. “Ask him if Putin has the photos of Trump blowing bubba like I made up last week when we were joking about what Putin might have on him.”

Regardless if it’s true or not, this would be a great time for Clinton to take one for the team and say it happened. “He even introduced me to something called analingus, which I had never had before. He was really practiced at it, he said it was his favorite thing in the world.”

I like that millions of people are asking if Trump was giving blowjobs but this looks like a joke to me. This isn’t Epstein letting it slip that Trump likes to have dicks in his mouth. He’s with Bannon so his brother is joking “ask him what blackmail Putin has on Trump, photos of him blowing somebody or something?”

Unless maybe Jeff told Mark that Trump gives BJs so Mark is saying “ask Bannon about that thing you told me about.”

Often it’s children’s junk their obsessed with. Absolute perverts

I couldn’t live without a dining table. Where else would I keep car parts when they come out of the dishwasher?

Gotta be rotini, it’s ribbed

Don’t forget to hydrate

https://youtu.be/_ARGBrsM_Js

When I was 15 in the 90s, every adult in the family, and adult friends of the family, said “You’re 15? Let’s go drive for an hour or two!” I’m pretty sure that, legally, a parent was supposed to be with me, but I guess any random adult was close enough.

I just added up 14 different vehicles I “learned on,” including an old pickup with “three on the tree”, a Corvette, a 280z turbo, a 68 Chevelle, an International Scout. The rest were boring vehicles. If I remember correctly, 9 were manuals.

Amazon, parts store, junkyard, find someone to 3D print one for you

Show me that butthole Show me that butthole oh please Show me that butthole

Wow haikus are easy

You night be thinking of the Streisand effect, which is a little different, but very similar

Why is he staining so hard? He’s freakin’ superman

I’m not sure if you’re aware but when it became apparent that a big event was happening on the morning of Sept 11, the hospitals braced for mass casualties and… waited… and waited… and they never came.

https://www.marketwatch.com/story/how-they-first-knew-9-11-was-so-horrible-the-patients-didnt-come-11631298343

There were only 20 people pulled from the rubble. Six were firefighters, and 5 were police.

Nurses get a lot of well deserved praise. It’s just that in this case there wasn’t an uptick in emergency medical needs.

It’s wild to me that someone who got rich selling songs to teens about fucking bitches, selling drugs and killing cops could keep a straight have (edit: face! Straight face!) while saying he’s offended about anything.

“We define God as that which is most important to us. So when we take the ass n titties heirarchy in light of the metaphysical substrate, titties is God”

No lethal viper would end a sentence with “lmao” and an emoji

“And just to show how important you two are, for today only I’m going to offer you a buy two get one free deal”