American here. Please don’t visit.

I say that out of love and care for you, not hate. It’s bad here. We’re a dumpster fire.

…you want us to get together and moan with each other? Buddy! I didn’t know this was that kind of app!

I’m Mr Bulldop!

Give it time

Look man…if you’re going to feed and attract the local wildlife ecosystem to your house, the least you can do is set up a series of webcams all over your property.

If Disney is going to stop making new material, and only make live action remakes, then you may as well record live action animals, and do voiceovers!

Disney never made a movie about the outcasts of the animal neighborhood! You can make a movie about possums, and raccoons fueding for territory, and in the end they find some respect for each other as advasaries.

C’mon. Do it! I’d watch that.

Shit, that age was a while ago for me. Now I’m at the age where playing russian roulette feels like everyone would prefer 6 bullets in the chambers.

Because maybe we wanna learn?

Not if an alarm clock goes off inside tbe casket, the casket opens, and he sits up.

What? Would you rather he be dead?

“I want what’s coming to me”

“Oh yeah? And what’s coming to you?”

“The world, chico! And everything in it.” ~ Adolph Hitler, 1939.

I would watch a sitcom about Luigi, and the series starts off with him being found not guilty. So they lock him in with a guy doing life. Their idea is to release him in 40 days. They think the life sentence guy will kill him. They assumed thats what would happen.

Instead he and his cell mate become lifelong friends, and the style of the show changes from gritty and dramatic, to being shot like an 80s NBC sitcom, with a studio audience.

Except it takes place in a comedy version of a jail. And it starts and ends every episode the same way. They wake up in their cell, and they go to sleep in their cell.

Cue the freezeframe, roll credits, as a studio audience gives forced applause that kind of drags, and you can tell some guy is waving his arms like “CLAP LOUDER!!!” and they’re all just thinking “how long do we have to clap???”

Why are the timers different?

I’m unclear on the concept of a second cousin. I’m also unclear on the how she would be a cousin on both sides.

Wait…was Einstein’s family tree shaped like a telephone pole?

No. They’re saying that 93% + 93% = 186%.

Reeeeeeeeally thought you were going to go in a serious direction as I started reading that.

Kinda like when Mallory Archer was talking about how she doesn’t get what her son sees in Lana.

“I mean really, what does he see in a black…ops field agent???”

Really felt like she was going in a whole different direction.

Try asking Americans to point out South America on a map. You’ll have to not giggle as they point to Texas or Florida.

Would you believe, that the whole magazine was actually printed on refined asbestos too?

Weird. Youtube doesn’t do that to me. It is insistant however that I need to watch AI made videos about why linux is better than linux.

No, not a typo. The titles are usually along the lines of “Is Mint better than linux? Lets find out!”

Or

“Ubuntu just can’t compete with Linux!”

And the one time I accidently clicked one of these videos, it was the most obvious AI slop you’d ever seen.

Maybe it doesn’t suggest these right wing videos because they see how much Steven Colbert, and Last Week Tonight I watch.

Then there’s the weird videos. Not AI. Just…weird.

Like the video of a teenager dipping a pickle into a jar of tostitos queso, and repeatedly saying “pickles n cheese, pickles n cheese, pickles n cheese…” while making squishing noises with the cheese.

But since I clicked it, and watched 30 seconds of it, youtube now reccomends me videos from time to time of this guy doing random things with pickles.

I miss when it reccomended the guy with the duck. The duck was cool.

As an American who doesn’t support fascism, I read this as “Fuck the democrats, lets start a REAL opposition party!”

And…yeah, I’m in. What’re we doing?

Is uh…is that like a sex thing? Or…ya know what? I’m not sure I want answers.