This is why I never sit down. Not even to poop. I just stand above the toilet, and hope it goes in.

Sometimes it does!

I really don’t want “Rita Repulsa pussy ping pong balls” in my search history…

I really want “Rita Repulsa pussy ping pong balls” in your search history…

This guy doesn’t even know about the three seashells!!!

hearty chuckle

Is this why we can’t see John Cena? He’s a ghost who died as a horny teenager in puberty?

Amy Jo Johnson can do WHATEVER she wants! Every boys childhood crush!

I’m 41. Which means I was a kid when the original came out.

In all my years of knowing of the power rangers, I’ve never once thought of it as (white power)(ranger).

I did however go from thinking Rita Repulsa was grotesque as a kid, to thinking “Damn, she’s kinda hott!” as an adult. Plus she has that stick that makes her monster grow.

…I think every guy would find that usrful.

Microsoft owns taco bell?

for example with doggy.

Poor doggy. That’s not what they meant by “give a dog a bone”!

Ugh. You’re not even paying attention! She said she DOESN’T flub the big ones! She likes the average ones!

…wait, like 1 continuous penis? How big is this bridge, and what did that guy EAT???

Ya know…it’s not often you root for the public shooter.

Let me get this straight. You ask a question about how to become a clown, but want to avoid jokes and being laughed at?

…you SURE you want to be a clown?

For most people 11 isn’t an option without buying a new computer.

In response to that, I reccomend a swift boot up the Xbox producers ass!

Ancient solutions??? Shit! That would work TODAY!!!

If Kamala Harris had promised bigger penis’s to all men if elected, she would be president right now.

Thats how I know all those pills and whatnot aren’t worth trying. If ANYTHING worked, it would become a competition. And suddenly it wouldn’t even be about if women liked it. Guys would be walking around with 60 inch dicks complaining they aren’t big enough, because their neighbor is 90 inches soft.

And the human race would end, because no woman would be able to even take dicks anymore, so they’d just stop having sex.

And guys would STILL keep growing.

But none of that is real. So I know anything selling penis enlargement is a scam without needing to even try.

It’s called flirting, and I’m quite good at it! Who could resist the Cleveland perogis? Again, not a sex euphanism. We have a strong polish population, and thus perogis are popular here.

Orrrrrr, alternative option…how about we go watch fireworks tomorrow? It’ll be a date. We’ll grab some food, and then go see the new Jurassic Park movie, and then go see the fireworks!

Uhhhhh, just be in Cleveland tomorrow at 5pm. Just, anywhere in Cleveland. I’ll find you by roaming the city and yelling “YOU SINGLE??? HEY!!! YOU SINGLE???” at every woman I see on the street. I’m sure I’ll find you EVENTUALLY!

Just don’t stop in East Cleveland. That is a seperate city, and we in Cleveland don’t recognize them as anything more than an active war zone. You WILL die if you stop there.

Soooooo, what are you thinking? Drinks? Yay or nay? Aw who am I kidding??? OBVIOUSLY we’re going to drink!!! This city is BUILT on alcoholics!!!

…wha? Where are you going??? Come back!!! I haven’t even shown you our massive free stamp!!! Thats not a penis euphanism! We really do have a massive free stamp here!

Windows 10 is no longer receiving security updates

I thought it was until October?

Man. I have no use for this. I know where I go. I go to work. And then the gym. Almost every day. Because I work a lot.

It’s like my boss always says…“BACK TO WORK, DICKHEAD!”

…now are those real words, or are you picking out random spoonfuls of alphabet soup?