You mean like…a bidet?

I still remember being 12, and jerking off to scrambled porn channels. It came in juuuuuuust good enough that you could sometimes see body parts.

Then one day it came in a lot clearer, and it turned out to be the home and garden channel.

I’m still not clear how post 1950 governments, especially the united states, never made any effort at all in creating underground cities.

The ONLY reason we haven’t paid for it, is because the USSR wasn’t actually dumb enough to start the nuclear war. Because there were times where we sure were.

But in any event, if you put a city 2 miles underground, you can bomb the fuck out of the surface. It’s just grass.

Obviously you can’t make the whole country underground, but you could make individual cities. Concentrated pockets of people, all safe from all bombs.

Although, if we transitioned 100% to that model in the 1950s, covid in 2020 may have been 10000x worse.

So, you take the good, you take the bad, you put them together, and what do you get? The facts of life. The facts of life.

Your daughter…you’re as smart as her mom…which is you…you’re as smart as you…

Uhhhhh, yeah. I mean I guess that’s true. You ARE as smart as yourself.

The picture was coming from INSIDE THE HOUSE!!!

Oh yeah? Well I live in Cleveland! Here’s some chocolate, because we have the better food! Not to mention the romanburger!

Or you could just…ya know…NOT be an ICE agent. Do they realize that’s an option?

I’m sure it’s just a typo, but my headcanon now makes MAHA “Make America Homeless Again”.

Well I won’t TRY to pay those prices!

Hey there youngster! I’m 42. So, make room in that casket. We’re gonna snuggle.

I keep telling you! It’s your diet! Stop eating bagels from the trash!

Just commenting so I can find this video when I get home from work.

Sounds interesting.

I would love to print out a whole sheet of those stars as stickers.

Then just go in public like “You ever heard of Where’s Waldo? Well this is is Look At George! Ready to play? Ok, 3…2…1…flips paper around Now let me know when you see George…”

And then you put a star sticker on their shirt.

Dude! Cruella DeVille is going to steal your cat!

I don’t tow the israel line, and they don’t seem to be coming after me!

Nah. Most of trumps stuff is just plated with immitation gold.

Shoo! Shoo away from my garden, bird!!! SHOO!

I have a different conspiracy theory.

I think they’re planning on the reduced human population that’s already underway in America.

See, the boomer generation at it’s peak was bigger than Gen-X, the millenials, and Gen-Z combined. But, people die. And the youngest boomers are 70 years old.

The next 30 years will see a massive population collapse, and we’ve already entered the collapse of the work force of that generation.

Which means for the next 30 years, everybody else is paying for the boomers social security. But when it comes time for our time on retirement, we’re not going to have the same support they did. Boomers will be dead, Gen Z is statistically having less kids (and I get why, but it still means less social security income).

So their plan is to regulate all the work to AI, and take all the profits. The problem is, it’s a really stupid plan. It doesn’t matter how advanced AI is. It will never fully replace humans. Which means the concept of work will always need to exist. And the end result is, I think they’re preparing to figure out how to get AI to do enough of the jobs, and then enslave the people to do the rest.

What if your logic is “yes I know THEY commit fraud regularly, but that doesn’t mean I have to.”?

“OH SHIT!!! WE ACTUALLY FOUND A WOMAN WILLING TO RAISE OTHER PEOPLES KIDS FOR PENNIES IN PAY??? YES I’LL TAKE THE CALL!!!”

“Hello, I’m some lady, trying to get ahold of corporate”

“…how did you get this number???”

“I know who you are. I know what you don’t want. If you are looking for an employee I can tell you I don’t need money, but what I do have are a very particular set of skills. Skills I have acquired over a very long career. Skills that make me a nightmare for people like you. If you let my daughter get a juice box now that’ll be the end of it. I will not look for you, I will not pursue you, but if you don’t, I will look for you, I will find you and I will kill you.”

“Good luck!” click