Oh she does it constantly with everyone 😂 she is aware, and is striving to do it less, but yeah, it’s all confidence.
She loves baking, for example, and is really good at it, but will apologise profusely for how bad they are before anyone has even tasted them. Perfectionism is absolutely a part of it, and I think that’s been imposed on her by her mum who is also a perfectionist and expects everyone else to be a perfectionist.
But yeah, were figuring it out 😊
I do experience a bit of the paradox of impatience:
“Sorry”
“Don’t be sorry”
“Are you angry?”
“I’m not angry”
“Did I do something wrong?”
"NO YOU DIDN’T DO ANYTHING WRONG FFS!!* 😂
Yeah, I know the struggle 😂
We’ve both been working on ourselves emotionally for a long time, so we spend a lot of time and energy trying to explore why we feel certain ways about different things, and then working together to try and help each other get to where we want to be.
I obviously have behaviours which I don’t like about myself which I’m working on, and she also has behaviours which she’s trying to work on. This is one of those areas where we’re trying to figure out together “how much apologising is too much?” as a general curiosity, rather than it being an actual problem.
Neither of us feel like we apologise enough, but I don’t get called out on how much I apologise, but she does. A lot of our friends and family often tell her she doesn’t need to apologise, or that she apologises too much! 😂
I understand why I don’t want her to do it, and it’s for many of the reasons you stated: perfectionism, people-pleasing, high social standards, fear of disappointment, etc. all of which can lead to her feeling sad, anxious, and over thinking every tiny detail which obviously isn’t good for mental health.
But to try and figure out how I physically and emotionally feel when I hear her say “sorry” is tricky. Do I get frustrated? Do I feel pity? Am I annoyed? Am I annoyed at her? (Obviously I’m not, but she often assumes I am)
I guess we’re just finding it interesting to work through that childish curiosity of answering the question “…but why?” from a perspective which isn’t as often looked through.
And thank you for the response! ❤️
But muh sport!
life feel 3 new 👍
No, you remove them. That’s why it’s unarmed.
You have to check her manual…
It’s more true than you think. Sexual diseases are absolutely rampant in care homes and it’s easy to see why: “So what if I get an STI? What’s it going to do, kill me? Hah!”
If I wasn’t boycotting America right now, I’d absolutely get one of those.
Poot eet een “H”!
No, but it means you give less of a shit when you lose.
I blame Paz and his burgers.
Whatever you say you fucking dumbass 👍
Fuck. Well I’m going to fuck the earth with my laser piss! But I’m not gonna piss on the earth. I’m gonna go higher! I’m going to piss on the MOOOOON! HOW’D YOU LIKE THAT, OBAMA??!?
Fuck. Is that you, Kyle Hill?
Shadow the Hedgehog is a fucking bitch, he pissed on my fucking wife!
iT’s JuSt A tHeOrY bRo. WhErE’s ThE FaCtS?
It’s amazing how they make up whatever meanings they like for words, but can’t handle that the word “theory” has evolved two different meanings based on whether it’s used in a scientific context or not.
I mean, you cold just shove the marbles down your throat, but failing that… I know what it’s like to hope that someone pummels you to death with a bowling ball. I hope you don’t genuinely feel that way, but if you do, there are people here - myself included - who would be happy to offer advice to try and not feel that way, or at least provide some temporary relief from that feeling.
And that goes to anyone else reading this who feels that way: no matter where you are in your head, there’s a way out of the darkness. Take it from someone who’s been there ❤️
It’s obvious to me. I get that it’s not obvious to her 😂