In the case of my mother, who lived in a different state with family that hates me and my sister… From her boss, who had my sister’s number from some recent situation. Wouldn’t have found out for ages if it hadn’t been for that. Sometimes I wonder what that would have been like, but I’m glad I don’t know.
If you don’t already, make sure at least one person close to your family/friends that you’d want to know about has your number and knows to get in touch.
It’s because in the majority of cultures (and hegemonic cultures today) have had men at the top of their hierarchical structure and there are more straight men. The male gaze makes women into sexual objects, culturally we see women as inherently sexy as a result.
This is the same when you see little kids given dolls with different skin colors and told to pick the “good” and “bad” doll. Even children of color pick the white doll for the good one. Because “normal” or “default” means good. In the case of sexual attraction in a straight male dominated society, that means sexual attraction to women.
Edited: I accidentally pushed the post button too soon…
Will the other Friday be shorter, too? Because otherwise they’re getting an extra hour out of you every other week.
I do this at my job (my choice). I do 7 to 4:30 with a half hour for lunch. I don’t actually take the lunch when I’m in the office since there’s no place other than my desk to be, and thankfully my supervisor is fine with me just leaving at 4. When I’m at home I try to actually be away from my office for that time.
I do like 3 day weekends and when I’m WFH I don’t even notice the 9 hour days. Idk if I’d do it for a job I had to be in the office every day for, but hopefully it will work for you.
This is why work from home is so valuable to me. They don’t pay me well enough to have a commute under 45 mins because the cost of living in the city is high as heck. And there’s no public transit option. So basically that’s 1.5 hours a day that I’m not losing to being stupid traffic
Technically I come in at 7 and leave at 4:30, but it’s a 9 hour day (30 min unpaid lunch) and I get every other Friday off in exchange. Also most days I work from home. No way in heck I’d ever go in for something like that.
OP, start job shopping. Longer hours are a sign the business isn’t doing all that well and they’re trying to squeeze out some more labor. Or a sign they’re doing well but are not interested in taking care of people by hiring enough staff and would rather you burn yourself out.
Some people do, but it’s not as easy as “just eat better” for everyone. If we were arguing about how people aren’t eating healthy I think very few people would be frame it as just a choice.
Cheap meat, fast food (few if any veggie options, and basically no vegan ones) - these are staples of the poor. There’s a limit to how much rice and beans anyone wants to eat, especially when just getting a couple pounds of ground beef is a luxury. I don’t think it’s right to shame people for taking the beef. Or judging them for taking it.
I think if vegans want to change the world they should be campaigning against poor practices in the industry, not attacking the guy who just worked 16 hours at a minimum wage job and is choosing to grab a mcdouble rather than going home to cook a beyond burger. Is one better for the environment and world? Sure. But it’s not that guy’s fault the system is rigged in favor of the mcdouble, and reminding him of the fact that he’s making the world worse isn’t furthering the goal of making the world better.
It’s the privilege thing that gets me every time. Not everyone can participate in your exclusive food club and be healthy and fulfilled. Let people do the best they can with what they have.
I’ve not had this experience with vegans because I don’t really know many people who are vegan, but I always find it funny when a vegetarian says something like “you could add chicken or beef if you wanted” when the whole point of asking for the recipe is that you liked it enough to try to make it again… It’s kind of adorable and sweet.
There are lots of people who believe this for religious reasons. Not saying I agree, just saying they absolutely exist.
The very first vegan I ever knew talked at me for 10 minutes about how I should go vegan. It was the only 10 minutes I knew her. I was 15, still living with my parents, didn’t have a way to get around, and my family was fairly poor. Oh, and my mother didn’t cook so much as unboxed dinner, because the kitchen was always filthy. I definitely walked away from that interaction feeling like I’d been told I was a terrible human who deserves to suffer by a rude principal. So yes, they definitely exist.
I’ve never met a Vegetarian that wasn’t chill about it, though.
I’m sure there are plenty of chill vegans too, but some of them come off like an annoying televangelist, in my experience.
That choice is steeped in privilege though, and I think it’s worth acknowledging that. Food choices are just something we shouldn’t be judging other people on, regardless of what those choices are. “Fed is best” applies through all stages of life.
The fact that you just think people should live more poorly and with less nutrition if they can’t afford the fru fru stuff is really disturbing.
I’ve been rive and beans only poor before. It sucked a lot. And on the rare occasion I could get some meat or cheese in my diet I definitely wasn’t in a position to be worried about which choice was “worse”. I just wanted some freaking variety. I should be able to have that. Everyone should.
Donate to your local food bank!
You’re right, they should have just starved instead! So enlightened, thanks for setting us all straight!
The only people who don’t need credit to live are rich enough that money will never be out of their reach.
Also, your credit cards are a different kind of “loan” - revolving - vs those other debts, which are installment. Having a mix of the two will improve your credit. They literally want it to be impossible to have good credit without the cards.
The first time I wanted to finance a car I discovered I have what’s called a “thin file.” My (interest free) student loan wasn’t reporting to all 3 agencies. I was able to get my dad to co-sign. I was 26. Discovered then that being told “never ever ever own a credit card” (by my dad!) was very bad advice. Get one with a low limit and use it to pay the same bill every month. Credit! Now other places trust that you pay your bills.
I’ve since gotten several cards (it’s been nearly a decade) and they each serve a different specific purpose. I purposely target high signing bonuses and my purchases are better protected. My limits are stupid high, which I guess is nice but I’ll never put that much on so it’s a bit pointless. Then again, knowing I have access to that if things ever become dire is nice.
I have a small house I purchased in a neighborhood full of renters. I bought during the low interest pandemic times, too, so my mortgage is less than most people’s rent. If I won the lottery tomorrow I would definitely sell my house for a better one (I make about 30% more now than when I bought, and the only reason I won’t move now is because of the interest rate). So many people have told me that I need to rent this place out rather than sell it. But I don’t have the ability to be the kind of landlord you described and therefore I know I shouldn’t be a landlord at all.
The authorities often go with address if they don’t have any other clues. When my mom died, she lived with her sister, who hates me and my sister… We found out by chance because my mom’s boss reached out to offer condolences, and then we had to call the coroner to let them know she had living kids. Her sister hadn’t revealed our existence.