I very rarely have trouble sleeping, but when I do, this is what I’ve always done since childhood and it hasn’t failed me yet.

I lay there, with my eyes closed, resist any temptation to look at my phone or do anything else, make myself as comfortable as possible wrapped up in blankets and pillows and whatever

And I just kind of direct my mind towards something pointless and let it wander down that rabbit hole

Maybe I’ll imagine sort of a bunch of swirling lights and colors and just kind of watch them, look for patterns, etc.

Or I’ll make up stories. I’m no author, but I’ll imagine myself as maybe a super hero, or an astronaut, or a wizard, or any of those sort of stock characters, and I imagine myself saving the world, or fighting a dragon, or boldly going where no man has gone before. These stories I’m making up aren’t deep, they’re a crappy universe full of plot holes and the kinds of characters an elementary schooler playing make-believe would come up with, because of course the superhero I’m imagining myself as can fly and has heat vision and wolverine claws and can turn invisible and has super strength and…

Or I just kind of think about simple things I enjoy. Places I could go hiking with my dog, date nights with my wife, meals I’d like to cook for friends, etc.

Whatever it is, I just kind of let my mind wander down that road, it takes my mind off of whatever was keeping me awake, and after I while my focus begins to falter and I just sort of slip into sleep from there.

I’m pretty sure this kind of falls under the category of some kind of meditation. My work once did a mandatory “wellness retreat” as a “training” thing I had to go to. One of the things we did was a guided meditation session, and that felt like the same sort of thing (but for people who are boring and lack the imagination to think of a scenario to meditate on by themselves, imagining myself flying an x-wing through an asteroid field beats the pants off of imagining I’m walking through a meadow to the beach or whatever that lady was having us imagine)

Sometimes a little background noise is helpful. I’m not personally too picky about what it is, I like trip hop music for this purpose, or forest sounds, or just random YouTube videos (not even necessarily anything relaxing, I’ve fallen asleep to some machinist YouTubers plenty of times and the sound of a mill, lathe, band saw, grinder, etc. isn’t exactly what I’d call soothing.

And when all else fails, I rub one out

I kind of think of the 50s as kind of a major turning point for the US. There were a lot of seeds of greatness then that weren’t properly nurtured in the following decades so that they could grow.

While just about every other country in the world was trying to put themselves back together from WWII, we had emerged not only unscathed, but in almost every measure better than we were before. We had military might, we had a booming economy, manufacturing, science, technology, arts, entertainment, cars, appliances, TV, electricity all on a scale previous generations could only dream about.

Even if you were part of a marginalized group- black, LGBTQ, female, etc. there were some glimmers of hope that looked like things might get better soon- the civil rights movement was picking up steam, there were some early LGBTQ rights movements and demonstrations taking shape, women entered the workforce in a big way during the war, and after the war mostly returned to the home afterwards but those seeds were planted, I don’t think it’s a coincidence that little girls growing up in the 40s watching the women in their lives being the Rosie the Riveter would become the ones who embraced 2nd wave feminism 20 or so years later.

And of course we had high corporate taxes helping to fund it all.

It wasn’t all sunshine and roses of course, and you will certainly find no shortage of people here on Lemmy who will happily spell out all of the many reasons the 1950s sucked, and I don’t disagree with them, but that’s not what you asked, so I’m not going to go into that.

The 50s were a major leap forward in the quality of life for many people in america, and while far from perfect, there is definitely an angle you can look at it from where things looked like they were more-or-less on the right track.

Yeah, security updates are a big sticking point for me too.

That’s another reason I’m not rushing out to buy one. If they actually stick to their 5 year plan, that’s pretty solid, but that’s a big unknown right now.

And with almost anything there’s some 1st generation bugs that will probably need to be worked out. If they stick around for a couple years and keep up with their updates I’ll give them a little more consideration.

Also we’re now starting to see some brands come out with color e-ink devices, I wouldn’t mind one of these with a color e-ink screen.

So maybe I’ll be getting a minimal phone 2 or 3.

I haven’t personally played around with rooting and custom ROMs and such in honestly probably a decade, but an unlockable bootloader would be nice, even if I don’t necessarily see myself using that feature at this point in my life.

And not for nothing, since a flagship smartphone can pretty easily cost $1000+ these days, $500-ish for this phone sounds oddly reasonable. Not that it’s got flagship specs, but for something that’s filling a specific niche with some (for many) desirable features, that’s not a bad price IMO.

My thoughts on kangaroo are, kind of unsurprisingly, that it tastes exactly like it evolved on a different continent than any other meat you’ve ever eaten.

It’s still definitely in the red meat family, but it’s different and it’s hard to explain how. I’d say it’s maybe more like venison or maybe lamb than beef, but it’s definitely its own thing.

There’s a lot of cases where depending on how you prepared and seasoned it, I don’t know if I could necessarily tell you with 100% confidence if I was eating venison or beef, and maybe even a couple things you could probably pull that with lamb or goat vs beef. I’m pretty sure I could reliably pick out a kangaroo dish from a lineup 100% of the time.

It was good though, I would absolutely eat kangaroo again if it was more readily available around me. It’s kind of a stronger flavor that some people might have an issue with.

Tasted like fishy dirt meat

I’m not a fish-eater in general, but I am an avid fisherman (I just catch them, the wife eats them,) so I’ve heard a lot of stories from my fellow anglers (which should, of course, be taken with a grain of salt, there’s a reason they’re called “fish stories”)

There is a persistent rumor I’ve heard that some people will take catfish and other bottom-feeders like carp home alive to let them swim around in a bathtub of clean water for a day or two to sort of flush all of the mud and everything out of their system before cleaning and cooking them

Allegedly it’s more of a southern thing.

I have yet to find seafood that I like.

Irony of ironies is that I love fishing. Luckily anything I catch worth keeping my wife is more than happy to eat.

People always tell me that good fish shouldn’t taste/smell fishy. I retort that I suppose good beef shouldn’t be beefy either.

I’m willing to hear people out, try different fish prepared in different ways, still haven’t found one that I liked, at best they’re mostly tolerable.

I’ve figured out that I generally tend to enjoy freshwater fish over saltwater. If I catch a couple nice trout I’ll eat that for dinner with my wife instead of having to make a separate dish for myself, I won’t hate it, but I won’t like it either and I’d probably rather have a hot dog.

And I like raw fish better than cooked.

I might actually kind of like raw oysters, but they are in no way worth the cost.

Lox isn’t bad, but I’d prefer just about anything else over it.

There are a couple fish-based products out there that are so far removed from fish that they’re hardly worth mentioning for the purposes of this comment that I do enjoy, like Worcestershire sauce and Asian fish sauces, katsuobushi, Caesar dressing, Crab Rangoon (let’s be real, you could probably leave the crab or “krab” out of most takeout rangoons and it wouldn’t change much) some Japanese fish cakes, etc.

The absolute worst is shrimp though. Nothing about shrimp is appealing to me, the taste, smell and especially the texture are all pretty repulsive.

I’m not otherwise a guy with a lot of food hangups and consider myself a pretty adventurous eater. Weird tastes, textures, bizarre fermented stuff, strange meats, etc. are all generally OK in my book, there’s not many other foods out there that I don’t enjoy. In my house right now I have some double salt salmiak licorice, a bottle of Malört, a wide selection of hot sauces going up to around 1 million scoville, I’m pretty sure I have both Vegemite and marmite somewhere in my fridge, some very peaty scotches, and plenty of other very divisive foodstuffs that I enjoy.

I have tentative plans to visit Iceland next year, so I’ll probably end up torturing myself with some hákarl at some point. And I don’t intend to seek it out, but if it happens to be offered to me for free somewhere I may consider trying whale, which I suppose is technically seafood.

Or, you know, the device we’re discussing

E readers don’t generally make calls, texts, do navigation, or fit comfortably in the zippered hip pockets of my hiking pack

I’m kind of considering getting one, probably as a second phone to swap my sim card into for occasional use

The e ink is a big draw for me, as is the physical keyboard, not to mention the headphone jack and expandable storage.

With the e-ink comes good battery life, they’re claiming potentially 4 days from what I can see. I like the idea of that for travel, where I might be spending long hours on a bus, train, plane, car, walking around town all day, maybe even camping somewhere where it may not always be convenient to charge my phone.

E-ink is also easier to read in direct sunlight without a glare, as someone with a lot of outdoor hobbies that appeals to me. (Although for the same reason I do also wish it had a higher IP rating, and maybe an impact resistance rating as well)

I dont tend to play a lot of games or watch movies on my phone to begin with, so I’m not so much interested in that aspect of it encouraging mindfulness, but for people who do struggle with that temptation to spend too much time on tiktok forget hooked on stupid games, I can see this helping them to kick that habit since e ink isn’t really great for those kinds of uses, while not needing to totally unplug from the more utilitarian uses for a smartphone like navigation, different messaging apps, email, 2 factor authenticator apps, etc.

I’m not rushing out to buy one, but I might consider grabbing one if I get a good deal somewhere, or if it has some staying power I might consider picking up the next gen version of it.

I was recently reading some Wikipedia article on my phone and when I was scrolling I accidentally hit a button to edit it and was greeted by a message that my IP was banned from editing for the next 10 months.

I haven’t even attempted to edit Wikipedia in probably 20 years. Admittedly last time I did I was probably about 14 years old, and it may have been some juvenile vandalism, but somehow I don’t think that they managed to trace me from a computer in my high school library to my current cell phone, or that anything I did warranted a 21 year ban

So obviously it’s because phones using cellular Internet go through IP addresses only slightly less often than most people breathe.

It feels like that sort of IP ban really isn’t particularly useful. The vandals probably aren’t usually on that address and most of the time it’s getting used by random people who probably don’t even think about editing Wikipedia.

I think there’s a fine line to be walked

Personally the only lights on my PC itself are the Ethernet ports on the back, and one little blue power indicator on the front

And since I built it in an HTPC case and stuffed it into my entertainment center, you kind of need to be looking at it from just the right angle to even see those. The case itself is a pretty unassuming black rectangle that looks pretty much like any other piece of AV equipment you might expect to see under a TV. About the size of a normal AV receiver, with a disc drive, a power and reset button, 2 USB ports, and a headphone and microphone jack.

My keyboard is a Keychron Q6 max with side-printed shine-through key caps, and my mouse is a Gameball Thumb (I like trackballs, and it’s nice since I’m gaming on the couch so not much convenient flat space to move a mouse around) which has single ring of LEDs around the trackball and a small indicator LED to show the DPI settings on the mouse. Both of those turn off when they’re idle, and when they’re in use I have them set to a pretty simple spinning color mode.

My setup is in a finished basement and the lights are usually down so it’s nice having them light up for the ease of seeing what I’m doing, and the simple color animations aren’t too distracting.

Where my lighting excess does come in though is with the Philips hue lights I have synced up to my TV the overhead lights, a light strip behind my tv, and a light tube underneath it. Between that and the surround sound I think it’s really immersive for movies and gaming. I think I’ve hit a good balance of it having some wow factor without being too distracting but opinions will of course vary on that.

I don’t know if I can pick just one favorite hot dog, so instead I’m just gonna wax philosphical about hot dogs at whoever cares enough to read this.

Most importantly is to start with a quality hotdog, something with a natural casing, that snap is critical I like all-beef personally but I’m not outright opposed to some frankenweenies either.

I’m told that in Iceland hot dogs generally contain at least some lamb, that sounds delicious to me, I like lamb. I’ve actually made and smoked my own hot dogs before so that may be something I experiment with in the future. I actually have a trip planned to Iceland next year so that may be something I try to recreate after I come back (I swear I’m not actually going for the hot dogs, just a happy accident, but I figured I might as well do some recon while I’m there)

A good bun is also important, something well-sized to the dogs, soft but structurally sound that’s not going to fall apart and get gross and soggy. When I made my own dogs I decided to go all-in and make my own buns as well. Pretty sure I used whatever recipe was the first Google result was for “sourdough hot dog buns” (because of course the crazy foodie who’s making his own hot dogs is also maintaining a sourdough starter) and I was very happy with how they came out. Barring that, get any decent brand of bun, there’s not that much variation. I like potato buns, but a regular ol’ white bun is fine. I also decided at some point that I like top-split as opposed to side-split buns, but that’s more of a nice thing to have than something I’m going to agonize over if I can’t find them.

Grill your dogs, or roll them around on a hot pan or griddle, don’t boil them. If you’re really fancy (even I’m not this nuts) get yourself one of those hot dog roller machines you see at gas stations and sports stadiums, I think those are the perfect hot dogs.

Now onto the real meat of the question - toppings

I don’t know that I have any one favorite dog, it all depends on my mood.

I hail from the philly area, so when in doubt when I’m presented with any cheap food item in need of a sauce or condiments, my answer is Cheez Whiz (keep that shit off of my cheesesteak though, that’s for tourists, I’m provolone all the way)

Closely-related, you have the chili cheese dog or plain old chili dog. These are all options where you really need to make sure to have a bun that’s going to hold up to some heavy, wet toppings. I think mustard is not unwelcome on a chili cheese dog, along with chopped onions and maybe some jalapenos. I’m normally a fan of beans in my chilli, but I don’t think they have any place in a chili intended to be a hot dog topping.

I’ve been to Cincinnati and sampled skyline chili from the source. If you expect chili you’re going to be disappointed and confused, but if you go in expecting a spiced meat sauce, you might really enjoy it. I think it makes for a damn good hot dog topping.

Outside of the situations where you’re going to have chili available for your hot dogs though

I’m also fan of sauerkraut. For the love of God though, don’t rinse and squeeze all of the sauer out of your kraut. Let it be sour and funky. Serve it rwith or without heating it up onto your dogs just as it came out of the can, jar, plastic bag, or crock.

For your typical backyard BBQ where you’re grabbing the usual condiments off the shelf to have out on a picnic table for the 4th of July or whatever- ketchup has no place on a hot dog. I’ll always go mustard, and often relish (I prefer dill relish over sweet if available) and chopped onions are a welcome addition. I think you’d do well to serve them with some baked beans on the side.

I’d also be remiss if I didn’t mention the Texas Tommy, allegedly another Philly-area invention, possibly originating in nearby Pottstown (though that’s a big " ^[1]^" IMO)

I was recently at IKEA and on the way out the door before a fun night of assembling flat-pack furniture, I grabbed a hot dog with some red cabbage and crispy fried onions, and I also thought that was a great combination (the hot dog itself was nothing special)

For a quick & easy weeknight dinner, I don’t think it gets much better than a hot dog or two or three prepared in any of the above styles, accompanied with some boxed Mac & Cheese, and some stewed tomatoes.

For a couple local ish places to me that I’ve felt like I’ve always gotten a stand-out hotdog, there’s Yoccos in Allentown, Jimmy John’s near West Chester PA, and of all places, the gift shop behind the chapel in Valley Forge National Historic Park

And of course, honorable mention goes to Costco for being one of the best deals going.

My guess, and I’m just kind of spitballing here, is that it fermented

Lollipops are basically just sugar and sugar is hygroscopic - it readily pulls moisture from the air. Eventually if it’s humid enough it could pull enough moisture from the air and start dissolving, so the goo is basically sugar-water

There’s a lot of natural yeast and bacteria and such all around you in the air and on just about every surface you could imagine, some was in the jar and found the sugar and started doing it’s thing fermenting the sugars

Fermentation takes sugars and turns them into alcohol and carbon dioxide (bit of a simplification)

Carbon dioxide is a gas, so there’s the bubbling, and the whistling noise was probably gas escaping from the jar as the pressure built up too high for the seal on the container to handle. The bubbling may have also picked up a bit when the gas started escaping too because under pressure some of it probably dissolved into the sugar goo, like it does into a can of soda, then when you crack the can open the pressure drops and the gas comes out of solution and bubbles.

And of course hand sanitizer is alcohol, so there’s the smell.

My all accounts, I’m a heavy sleeper, there are basically only 3 things that will reliably wake me up

My alarm clock
Having to pee
My dog throwing up or whining to go out (usually an indication that she’s gonna have diarrhea)

I sleep through my wife’s alarm going off (usually several alarms, she like to hit snooze,) showering, turning lights on, listening to podcasts while she gets ready, the sun coming up (I work partially overnight, I’m usually in bed by about 4 or 5 AM,) landscapers mowing the lawn outside my window, kids screaming at the nearby playground and school, fireworks, thunderstorms, construction (although I was not able to sleep through the siding repair I had done with a guy hammering on the wall directly behind my bed)

One time my wife was able to get me out of bed and stand me up so she could fix the sheets without me being fully awake.

When I was a kid my mom could vacuum in my room without waking me up.

I have/had a good friend who is a devout Muslim, was born in Egypt but moved to the US when he was very young. His father was from there, his mother was American, white, and I’m not totally clear whether or not she converted but was definitely not Muslim when they met. From what I understand his father got a lot of shit from his family over that.

Over the years, my friend butted heads with dad a lot. At one point his dad wanted to move the family to Egypt, basically because he never fully adjusted to life in the US. My friend stood up to him, because all of his younger siblings had only ever lived here, they had friends and lives here and it would be kind of shitty to uproot all of that, so he kicked my friend out of the house, and wouldn’t let him see his siblings for probably over a year.

So that was always a threat he kept dangling over my friends head- Fall in line or I’ll move the family back to Egypt and cut you off from your siblings.

He also disapproved of any sort of american style dating, and forced my friend to break up with several girlfriends, even if they were Muslim.

One day my friend just totally ghosted all of us. Unfriended everyone on Facebook, leaving pretty much only people with middle Eastern names, stopped replying to calls or texts, etc. a couple of us went to his house to check on him, and did actually make contact with him there but he refused to answer any questions, basically just leaving it at her wasn’t going to be friends with any of us anymore.

We know at that point he’d been seeing a girl he’d been keeping secret from his dad, she later reached out to us because he also ghosted her.

We’re pretty sure what happened is that his father found out that he was dating her and had another blow-up, threatening to kick him out and cut him off from his siblings for good.

Not every Muslim family is the same of course, some wouldn’t have any issues with this sort of situation, in some it will cause varying degrees of family drama, in some it can even get physically abusive, and in a small handful of cases we might even be talking about honor killings.

Where you have different cultures and religions coming into play, this kind of thing can get complicated, it’s not always so simple as “it’s a free country” although it should be.

Mist people cheat,

Assuming that’s supposed to be “most people”

There have been a lot of studies on this over the years, and the data is of course easy to skew because a lot of people are going to be reluctant to admit to their cheating, or people having different ideas about what constitutes “cheating” but every study I can find that seems credible, it seems to hover at more like 25% of people cheat, give or take maybe about 10%

Even when you look for people who have experienced a partner cheating on them most of the studies I can find have it at below 50%

You can get into the weeds and probably find some cases where most people in certain demographics cheat if you want to cherry-pick your data a bit.

So no, most people don’t cheat.

And I do want to just reiterate that the harassment angle is really what you want to play up with the police.

I don’t know the specifics of how policing and such works in your area, but there’s a pretty big difference between “my neighborhood is an inconsiderate jerk who plays his music too loud” and “my neighbor is intentionally targeting me with loud music and sirens to disturb our sleep”

The first one is a noise complaint, that’s low priority for the police and depending on where you are maybe not even a police issue but something like code enforcement.

The second one is a police issue, it’s harassment. This will vary from one jurisdiction to another, but where I work depending on some of the details I might enter that as “suspicious activity” or even a “disturbance” (basically a fight) which should get police there with some urgency.

And some of the other things you’ve said, like him walking around outside with a frying pan, I could definitely make an argument for putting in those calls as a “wellbeing check” or “suspicious person,” and if he’s acting particularly threatening maybe even “armed subject,” or possibly as a psych emergency to also send EMS to hopefully get him taken to a hospital for a psych eval.

I have a long, bushy beard (and curly handlebar moustache)

First of all, the hard truth is that not everyone can grow a decent beard. Vitamins, diet, etc. certainly won’t hurt, but at a certain point you’re up against genetics, and if your DNA says your beard is going to be thin and patchy, there’s not much you can do about that except maybe hair transplants.

Age plays a factor, I have a friend who couldn’t grow a decent beard until he was about 30.

Now assuming you’ve actually got enough hair growing in the right places

Most important is keeping it trimmed and neat-looking.

Until you’ve got a couple inches of beard going, I think it’s best to keep your neck shaved, pick a point maybe an inch or two above your Adams apple, and keep everything below that shaved. Once you’ve got some beard going you can stop doing that, no one can see it anyway and at some point the neckbeard just becomes more beard.

Similarly, clean up your cheeks. You probably have a few scraggly hairs growing up above the rest of your beard, shave those off.

If you’re a little brave, a straight razor is pretty nice for making some clean lines, you can be really precise with them. They make ones that use a disposable Blade if you’re not into all the sharpening and stopping that goes with a traditional straight razor, I have one that uses a double edge blade snapped in half (they break very cleanly) but most of the time I just use a regular safety razor, or a disposable or cartridge razor would do the trick just fine

Especially when you’re starting off, a beard trimmer or hair clippers are gonna be your best friend so you can trim it all down to an even length.

Figure out what you’re doing with your sideburns. I shave my head, and ideally I like to have them fade into that, but I’m cheap and lazy so I only go to my barber to have that done a couple times a year when I need to look good for a wedding or whatever. Most of the time I just take my clippers to them and try to make them shorter up top and longer towards the bottom, it takes some practice and playing with the guards and such, and I’ve actually gotten pretty good at freehanding it, but it’s not the fancy fade my barber can manage.

Once you’ve got some length, things get kind of easy, I tend to go for a longer, sort rectangular shape to my beard, I brush it out, and basically just cut off anything that isn’t where I want it to be and any split ends d notice.

For soap/shampoo/conditioner/beard oil/balm, etc. you kind of need to figure out what works for you and your hair/skin type. My hair and skin are pretty forgiving, I could probably just about shower in acetone and be none the worse for it. I shower with doctor bronners for no particular reason other than I find their peppermint to be refreshing and I can buy it in a gallon jug, and since it’s pretty concentrated a little goes a long way and I don’t have to buy soap for a couple years, and I don’t personally find any need to use any conditioner or beard balm/oil, etc. Other people find that Dr Bronners it really dries out their skin/hair so YMMV. I also find that it’s pretty good at stripping the wax out of my moustache.

I do sometimes use beard balm/oil for special occasions to help tame my beard and give it a little extra shine. I rarely buy it for myself, I find that once you have a beard it tends to be one of those things people gift you at Christmas or whatever.

I use Firehouse Moustache Wax (specifically their Wacky Tacky) to curl my moustache. That’s a very stiff wax if you don’t intend to curl it. I haven’t tried their other waxes but I’m sure they work fine for general styling. It’s the second wax I’ve tried, I find it works well, and I haven’t felt the need to experiment further. The first one I tried because it was readily available at CVS at the time was Clubman, that stuff is garbage. Doesn’t hold well, and if you get even the slightest bit wet or sweaty it washes right out. I also remember it having some sort of scent, which I’m not particularly a fan of for something that lives right below my nose.

If you’re not going for a full Snidely Whiplash curl, some other lighter wax or maybe pomade is probably worth keeping around to help tame and style it a bit. I have a tin of Murray’s pomade I keep around for that purpose though rarely use it. A little goes a long way with that, otherwise your beard gets kind of greasy and sticky.

I spend very little time on my beard. I brush it every day, wash it when I shower (usually every day, but I’ve been known to skip a day or two here and there,) clean up my cheeks when I shave my head (once or twice a week) and style my moustache mostly every day (it only takes a couple minutes, the Wacky Tacky is very stiff, I rub some into my 'stache, run a comb through it to help distribute it through a little better, and then pretty much just mold it into place with my fingers,) and do a little trimming maybe every couple weeks or when I notice it’s getting a bit wild looking.

I don’t know the laws or systems in place in the UK for this, but I work in 911 dispatch in the US, and I can’t imagine that something like this is too radically different across the pond

As long as the cops in your area are fairly responsive (I know a couple departments in my county will take their sweet-ass time responding to a noise complaints) call every time he does something.

Yes, you’re going to get sick of it, but more importantly the cops are going to get sick of it too. They really don’t want to be out at your neighbors house over this every day/week/month/8moths, or however often he does it. Before too long he’s going to get hit with fines and other consequences. Once or twice they might issue a warning

Speak to the officers every time. Make sure they’re seeing and hearing what you’re seeing and hearing, get it on video if you have to, don’t give them an opportunity to write it off because they drove by the house and “didn’t hear anything.”

Tell them he’s schizophrenic, refusing to take his meds, tell them he’s harassing you, that last part is important, tell them you want to file a report for harassment, discuss what your options are- pressing changes, restraining orders, whatever they may be, and pursue them. You’ll probably have paperwork and court dates and such, it sucks, but that’s how the process works.

Be prepared for retaliation from him in some form. Get security cameras, try to avoid any contact with him if you can avoid it. He already has delusions that you’re conspiring against him, and having the cops show up at his door repeatedly are going to feed right into that, it’s not out of the question that he might get violent, or start vandalizing your property.

Continue to report anything he says and does to you, no matter how small, each incident you document builds a stronger case for more consequences. Every time he accuses your brother of making wolf noises, or hacking his phone, any weird interaction at all, make sure you’re documenting it with the police.

Try to catch his niece when she’s over, explain the situation, explain that you’re going to have to take legal action if it doesn’t stop, see if she can possibly talk sense into him, or possibly if she or other family might be able to pursue some sort of involuntary commitment for him (read up on your local laws about that, I have no idea what they’re like in the UK except that I think it’s called “sectioning” over there, I suspect that you wouldn’t be able to start that process, it would probably need to be done by a relative, the police, or a medical/mental health professional)

As I said

pay is livable but not amazing

I personally came up just a hair short of 69k last year, I’m paying my bills, treating myself to some luxuries, and usually manage to save a bit, but I’m not rolling in it by a longshot.

But like I said that varies a lot around the country, I believe that’s a decent bit above the national average, but not a ridiculous outlier either, it’s fairly average for my area.

For context, I’ve been there about 6 years, so I have some seniority, but I’ve also elected not to pursue some training and certifications and such that could have given me a bit of a pay bump. I rarely come in for overtime, but that’s always available if you want it (there have been a couple years where one of our supervisors ended up being one of if not the highest paid county employee here because the man is an overtime machine, he’s a supervisor so he of course makes more than me to begin with but not so much more that you’d expect him to be in the running for that without the insane amount of overtime he does)

On average the county I work for is fairly wealthy and we’re not hurting for funding. We’re not union (although every few years someone starts talking about it, hasn’t gotten off the ground yet but we’ve gotten close a few times) but most of our surrounding counties are so that helps keep our pay competitive.