Yellow Pines are the Peter North of trees.

drinks a pint of Vaseline

I would say it’s the reverse for me. The older I am, the more I understand, the angrier I remain.

The world has been fighting Boomers for 4 decades. They’re not all villains, but certainly the majority of villains are Boomers.

“Downtown murders rise”

“An ent goes on a walk with the cousins before Thanksgiving dinner”

Creep juice

Not Korean Jesus. He’s swole af. Turns water into pre-workout.

Abussy

“But the GPS said turn here,” he said with his car in a pond.

Businesses still operating on factory work playbooks and just cramming in creatives like a monkey wrench.

“Meet George Jetson”

That poor tree

Money doesn’t buy taste

You keep your washing machine in the shower? That seems risky

Especially considering the short kings’ faces are ass-height

This is why you should always take a few essentials in your pack- like a survival blanket. And water. Some snacks. Fire tools. Cocaine.

“This is probably better than Eowyn’s stew.”

From the position of privilege equality looks like loss

Nature has existed for quite a while. That hike can start at 7am. Or even 8. Or 9.

You want me up to hike at 5am? Let’s just camp in the woods.