A beret and a cravat!

A fedora for the necktie like a 1950s hard boiled detective!

A pointy wizard hat and a robe!

With THAT hat? Definitely a bowtie. It’s a verticality balance thing. The hat is vertical so the tie should be horizontal. Now, if the duck had a WIDE hat, THEN you go for the long tie.

Bearing in mind that objectification is wrong, clearly it’s a shitty to lump human beings into categories.

But everybody’s got a type.

And I’ll admit, if someone I fell in love with turned out to be a tomboy, or industrious, or serious and clever, as contradictory as it sounds… I’d SO fucking vibe.

ADHD makes it EXCEPTIONALLY HARD for me to switch tasks, actually x_x the only time I can get ANYTHING done is when I can hyperfocus into ONE thing

luigi’s 2024 resolution came in clutch at the last moment

Park like that and it’ll get impounded. Believe me when I say the impound bill will be higher than the worth of the vehicle. Even surrendering the title to the towing company may only take fifty dollars off it for sparing them some paperwork. You’ll still be in debt or sent to collections. Don’t risk it.

I probably already have.

The Claims Adjuster Abides.

Aliens are not attacking.

The drones have hurt no one.

They are merely paying more attention now.

Perhaps if society kills more CEOs, they will finally consider us sapient and establish contact.

NO! Warrior EMPEROR! of the galactic empire! (very space opera!)

Oh yes! Talk to him about MULTILEVEL MARKETING! Hell, OP might even be able to sell him garbage and make some money on the side if he’s stupid and desperate enough!!!

barbara streissand has taught them nothing apparently

real salt of the earth.

i get up so early people call it “late” and go to bed in the afternoon.

I like public restroom doors that have a handle like protrusion down near the bottom for your foot

Let’s increase each one’s pay by exactly three aerodynamic chunks of lead, to be deposited directly into their brainpans at supersonic speeds.

I do believe I’d love being a small part of a polycule…!

I got a girlfriend in 2023

The experience was mid.

She’s cool and we still hang out sometimes but being in a relationship kinda sucked and I’m glad we reloaded the friend save state.

I’m just not cut out for being someone’s only partner.

How bout fuck insta.

How bout that.

Doom scroll on mastodon.

Mom when I asked for a puppy: “you aren’t ready for that kind of responsibility.”

Me when Mom asks for grandkids: “I’m not ready for that kind of responsibility ¯⁠\⁠_⁠(⁠ツ⁠)⁠_⁠/⁠¯”