If your piss is blue or purple, you probably have porphyria. It also means you need to go see a doctor.

The first thing I’ll say is to consider putting it off until you’re older.

That being said, if you don’t know anyone who smokes, you might find it difficult to get some yourself. Your best bet would be to make friends who already have those connections. Many dealers won’t respond if you can’t name a customer that referred you. That might be the biggest hurdle to start with if you aren’t willing to start conversations. Ask classmates about the stoners around school if you can’t think of anyone.

If you manage to make those friends who connect you, though, the actual exchange with a dealer is usually pretty chill. You meet at an agreed upon spot (perhaps a park or something, maybe their house, etc.), and you hand over the money and they hand over the weed. Then you go home. You can show up with a friend if you want, but it’s best practice to let the dealer know that before you show up. A first text might go something like, “Hey, my name is ___. Would it be cool if I bought a dime ($10 worth, often 1 gram)/dub ($20)? I got your number from ___. Would you be down to meet sometime soon?” Some more advanced dealers will offer things like dab cartridges and edibles. Weed smells, and so does paraphernalia, so be sure to keep it in an air-tight container. Don’t front money for drugs, ever. Also, be sure not to let it become too much of a habit. Limit yourself to a couple times a month, or only the weekends, etc.

A marijuana high lasts about 2-3 hours, so if you know you’ll have much more time than that, you’ll be ok. You can also go out to meet up with a friend for awhile, then both go to smoke elsewhere if their house isn’t an option. Most high-schoolers find a nearby, secluded place in some forested area to smoke in, at least where I live. Walking there and back (even while baked) is usually no big deal, unless it’s super far or something. If you don’t have a place like that nearby, any other little hidden spots you can find will probably do if they aren’t too high-key. Just be sure to clean up after yourself. Pack it in, pack it out. You might be able to smoke outside your house after your parents go to bed if you can manage your coughing. If you’re worried about the smell after smoking, smoke outside, change your clothes/put on a top layer first, and brush your teeth.

As for how to smoke, you have some options. Probably the cheapest, easiest, most concealable option would be a small pipe (I’d recommend glass). You can find cheap ones online that can be delivered to your door on websites like dhgate, if you aren’t worried about your parents opening your mail for you. There’s also bongs, joints, and vapes, which each have their own pros and cons. I’m sure there’s a million youtube tutorials for each of those options. When smoking, I think the key is to inhale properly and deeply, which may be difficult starting out. You often hear that people can’t get high their first time smoking weed, but I think this is due to improper smoking technique. I know my first time I definitely wasn’t doing it right.

War of the Worlds was written by H.G. Wells, not Orson Welles. Orson did, however, do that famous radio performance of War of the Worlds in the 30s that ostensibly (but probably not actually according to more modern analysis) caused widespread panic among its listeners.

I always get these two and George Orwell confused. On top of the somewhat similar names, the fact that Orson Welles/H.G. Wells both have that War of the Worlds connection and H.G. Wells/George Orwell both being famous authors doesn’t help, either.

I also want to add that evolution is a species-wide phenomenon over hundreds or thousands of generations, it’s not done individually.

Wow, what a thorough answer, thank you! The summation was almost poetic, in a beautiful and somewhat horrifying way. The whole system laid out like that almost seems a bit dark and dystopian in kind of an indescribable way. It sounds like a sentient, Lovecraftian rat’s-nest of wires running the whole world.

Yeah, that seems to align nicely with the instincts I outlined in my comment. No need to apologize. Thanks!

From what I googled, it’s especially bad when you pair “man” and “female” together, which makes sense to me.

No stupid questions time: This kind of lurks in the back of my mind and I sometimes find myself hesitating to use the term “female” to refer to female figures in any context. I don’t have to do that, right? Like, would “woman lawyer” be better than “female lawyer” in contexts where specifying gender might be relevant? I would conversely prefer the term “male lawyer” in the same context and “man lawyer” sounds just as odd to me as “woman lawyer”. “Lawyer who is a woman” is a little verbose, too. Am I overthinking this?

I think this is a pretty good representation of rams in pastry form. I can see the phallic resemblance, but honestly, I think this isn’t bad at all. If you wanted to be sure they wouldn’t be confused with anything other than a ram, perhaps you could get some food-grade paints and paint in eyes, nose, mouth, nostrils, etc. I think the faces being painted/frosted on would help eliminate the tendency to see a dick and make it less ambiguous.

It already exists as the intro to one of the maps in Nazi Zombies in COD: Black Ops

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=8Zv61MWfg20&pp=ygUPamZrIGNvZCB6b21iaWVz

Not too far from the one I came up with:

Show me your feet, boys

And taste my soles

Treat my toes like a tootsie roll and lick away

Indeed, Chinese cops laid siege to various universities during the Hong Kong protests, which were strongholds of opposition and organization, just like American universities have also been under siege at times for the same reasons regarding their Palestine protests. Cops never change and they’ll always have the cop mindset, though I will say that American cops seem to be especially trigger-happy. From what I see, cops in most other countries are able to neutralize threats with non-lethal force most of the time. I never hear about German cops, who I believe also carry guns, shooting someone’s dog or unloading into a guy failing to follow conflicting instructions being shouted at him. I can’t claim to know much about German cops, though. Maybe someone with more knowledge could fill me in.

The Hong Kong protests, though… I’m not saying that’s worse than American police, but I have little reason to believe they’d be much better, either. Your experience may not reflect the whole truth.

Schizopost

“I hate hot weather. I hate that other people are allowed to live in hot places. I also hate air conditioning, which makes the temperature more bearable in whatever clothing you choose. I also hate that people in schools or businesses are allowed to wear shorter clothing that makes hot weather more tolerable and would cut down on the need for air conditioning.”

Like, do you want to be too hot, or don’t you? Complaining about the weather while actively refusing to do even the simplest action of putting on cooler clothing and at the same time eschewing your only other options of AC or swimming. This is the bed you’ve made. When hot weather rolls around, the least you could do is lie in it quietly without casting shade at other people, who have no control over the weather. They’re simply doing what’s necessary to not be too hot, the same way you need to do what’s necessary to not be too cold in frigid weather with heaters and extra layers of winter clothing. Since before humans even existed, our hominin ancestors have had to adapt to extreme temperatures using technology and know-how. That’s just how it is, whether it’s hot or cold weather. To get mad at others for your failure to adapt seems silly.

I prefer cold weather over hot myself, but this is just a wild take.

That’s just my opinion, though.

Seth hasn’t been writing for Family Guy since like 2006

It’s true, but intelligence and counterintelligence is kind of their whole thing, isn’t it? They’ve certainly had a long list of laughable fuckups, like their many failed assassination attempts on Castro, the failed Bay of Pigs invasion, Iran-Contra, etc., but they’ve also successfully toppled governments in South/Central America, the Caribbean, the Middle East, Asia, etc. Apparently they’ve made at least 70 attempts at regime change since the end of the Cold War, according to Wikipedia. I wouldn’t be so quick to dismiss the CIA as a non-threat, personally, especially if they’re going to be following the malevolent orders of a Trump loyalist. I fear the CIA will turn more inwardly to our own country and use their efforts against US citizens (more than usual, that is), specifically against those who would oppose a Trump regime.

We already saw FBI agents engaging in 60s-and-70s-style surveillance of BLM activists in 2020, where they and other feds went around in unmarked vans snatching random activists off the street and traded literal baseball cards they made about different individual activists for fun. Those feds were also sent in at the express direction of Trump. With that in mind, I have no doubts the CIA would do the same in heartbeat. I know they already conduct domestic surveillance operations, but I’d predict a substantial increase in that under the current administration, especially given the ways things have been going after only the first couple weeks with Trump demanding absolute fealty throughout the government and vilifying all opposition. It’s just frightening that Trump had a ready-made intelligence org that was so easily converted to his agenda and seems poised to be his personal secret police. I think that’s probably even scarier than the CIA of old. At least for right now, I might somehow prefer a CIA that says, “Sorry, Mr. President, but we don’t follow orders.”

CIA, too. I thought they sort of just did their own thing and aren’t really beholden to the president. People think the CIA is such a rogue organization that some people have suggested they killed JFK because he sought to shrink the org and make them more accountable. Seems unlikely, though, since apparently all it takes to completely take it over is just to change around some personnel.

Like, my head cannon is that the new leaders would be figureheads only and that there’d be someone secretly chosen to keep things running behind closed doors and pulling the real CIA strings to resist such changes (and maybe have an encore, pretty please?), but that’s based on nothing at all. I’m no fan of the CIA or anything, but I do fear what such a shadowy government org might do when wielded by Trump cronies even more than the stuff they usually get up to.

That’s true and part of me would love to see that, but some utilities (such as water and electric) going under would probably be a bad thing if there wasn’t a plan to swoop in and bring them under public control right away. Otherwise, things would get bad really quick in a lot of places if power and water stopped being available for everyone for an extended time. Things like hospitals, grocery stores, repair shops, etc. would all be working at greatly reduced capacity and capability. Barring a full-on revolution where the people could seize these utilities for public ownership and operate it themselves, I don’t see that happening because the government would be likely to simply bail out a lot of the companies, or they’d be bought up and probably end up being consolidated by an even fewer number of people.

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Forgetting how it works and having to relearn it again