Denvil

She’s an eldritch horror whos age is beyond human comprehension of time, naturally

Fuck fuck fuck I’m late for work by like 2 hours god damn gotta go eat breakfast and get the fuck out of here. Oh wait it’s 8 pm.l

But is it a crime to get a cat baked? 🤔

Wait I thought they were just talking about butter on a poptart as a joke…

My tiny dog is shockingly not like this

Quiet, very rarely barks, first instinct when meeting a new person is to roll over for belly rubs, and quite smart and well behaved all round

Best dog I could’ve asked for

Who are you who are so wise in the ways of science?

It’s not like there aren’t other disposable cups used, but yeah, very common

My dad taught me to score them. I find it strange, scoring them prevents the supposed thief from being able to get the tag off cleanly, so they wouldn’t want to apply it to their car because it’d look sketchy?

Unlike your totally normal and not at all now damaged and sketchy looking tags?

Quit paying unfair taxes to the crown

I assume that

1. based on age

2. fake

I broke my left arm 25 years ago. And it’s still broken today.

Healing bones is a perpetual cycle. You need that arm because you’ve lived with it, it made your limbs weak.

Don’t a lot of people already pay companies to do their taxes for them? They’re just cutting out the end man and keeping the middle man

Elepus

(Platypus)

Impressive doorframe too

Unironically tensing up and then relaxing helped

Wdym this reads perfectly normally

The confusing bit is that they’re having seperate conversations

She wished for a BIG black chicken :))

What? I actually have a red car, but I think orange cars are cool :(

I ordered crab at a cajun restaurant at one point. That was the hardest fight of my life to eat so so little. Wasn’t even good enough to justify how fucking hard it is to actually eat the thing in my opinion. Plenty of people love them, but I simply don’t see the appeal.

I’ll have you know that Cincinnati cuisine is the absolute greatest cuisine to EVER originate in Cincinnati