Cooking. Took a tray out of the oven and put in on the top. Turned to grab a spatula and caught the edge of the tray with the loose end of the oven glove.

As it slid off the top my dumb ass quickly grabbed for it with my ungloved hand, missed, and just pressed the searing hot tray into my stomach and thighs.

Two pies on the floor, that while I was whimpering in the cold shower upstairs, the dog ate.

The press are calling him “The Umbilical Bandit”

That’s why you should all do one each.

Rod of animal control: it only works on dogs and it only makes them follow you and perform basic actions like sit and give paw.

On closer inspection it’s just a chew treat

It will be eaten if the dog gets a hold of it

Yeah, but those missiles in the ocean were THREATENING people who have MONEY. The Palestinian children don’t have any money.

So I’m sure you can see the conundrum here for world leaders

(/s. Just in case, hard to know these days)

Imagine talking about great RPG companions and not mentioning Knights of the Old Republic

Look right, those advertisers paid good money for people in your demographic to receive those ads. Who are you selfishly block all thier hard work with your “preferences”. Geez, the entitlement of some people.

/s, just in case

Rod

Alternative captions

• Bluetooth when I’m connecting to a speaker

• Bluetooth staying connected to my car when I’m 3 streets away

Nice try Boeing, you’re not going to get me that easily

Hey wait, I just learnt this today! He probably should have died from lack of oxygen in the air!

https://lemmy.world/post/16727952

If you want to be the Cutlery Colossus then you can

I want to play my character, not just play towards whatever the optimal setup is

deleted by creator

Now it just needs a classic not-realy-a-punchline Heathcliff one-liner said by another character to round it out.

Like a bird saying “the internet is the future” or butcher saying “he claims he’s transcended”

How would star wars even work in a total war game?

I can see the hero characters like jedi and such fit with how they work in the WarHammer games. Things like tanks and walkers filling the space of single and low unit count monster troops.

But would regular troopers be standing in lines of 50? I suppose it’s not a stretch of the imagination to think they could make smaller infantry units, but I have always associated the total war games with dragging out the lines of my spears and flanking cavalry rather than flicking small teams of shooters into cover positions

His upbringing?

His parents are in jail! I assume his mom is there on prostitution charges

This was funnier than any heathcliff comic I’ve seen so far