All of my local grocery stores offer sushi, and all of the signs say the same thing: “sushi under new management” and the signs never change. You’re not going to trick me like that, colluding grocery store chains.

It’s like Requiem for a Dream. Great movie, would recommend it to anyone except my elderly mother, am not gonna fuckin ever watch it a second time.

I’ve been feeding my local crows unsalted shelled peanuts for more than five years. They know me and fly into the tree above my driveway and caw when they see me. They’re still not at all comfortable around me and won’t come down for the nuts until I go back inside. They’ve never given me any kind of gift unless you count the bird shit on my car.

They’re like a Marvel movie in terms of power comparison. If a hawk shows up, they will chase it away. Meanwhile, a single bluejay a tenth their size will chase off five crows by itself. And the crows will just stand there glumly watching a squirrel eat all their peanuts.

I’ve long said that the more people you add to a software project, the longer it will take and the worse the final product will be. Your scenario describes one of the many reasons why this is the case.

Not many people know that “Baba Yaga” is the real name of the song, not “Teenage Wasteland”.

I want to say he’s mistaking it for the Belgian Congo, but he would have loved that place.

The fourth was extremely embarrassing as well, although who cares at that point. There’s a defender there watching Lukaku literally flat-footed, even though there was nobody else around for him to guard.

At least with the header we had two defenders closely marking the guy, even though that just made it an even more spectacular goal.

What amuses me is the soccer fans here who think we’re going to get better. I first encountered this in '94 when we (the US) hosted the world cup and got spanked by a Brazil team playing with 10 players. It’s like Indians saying they’re going to be good at basketball soon (they aren’t, because they love cricket).

I had a friend who used to help out an old lady like this in his neighborhood. She had no children and when she died she left him a couple million dollars and her house. He had no idea she had anything.

I wish I could find this again, but there’s a Pathe newsreel from 1946 or thereabouts that shows the coming wonders of mobile phones. It even has a man at the grocery store calling his wife to ask what brand of beans she wants. Of course the “phone” was basically a walkie-talkie with a huge backpack, but they had the principle exactly right.

Should have been three rocks instead.

I’m amazed by people that put those Monster scratches on their cars. Like, your energy drink of choice is that big a part of your personality?

Oh here we go again. You know that shit is why WWI happened, right?

When I was a programmer I liked wearing suits and sport jackets and Norwegian wool sweaters and selvedge jeans and the like, even though it negatively impacted my career. People in my profession genuinely assumed that I must not have been a very good programmer because of it. Now I’m a school bus driver and whenever I dress like I used to (which is very rarely) everybody assumes I have a job interview or a date.

Cole Haan

Ha ha, my residual /r/MaleFashionAdvice instincts kicked in on this one.

“Don’t You (Forget About Me)” might be the best '80s song ever, complete with the band (Simple Minds) originally hating the song.

Not many people have actual step-siblings and yet we all know what that shit is about.

Huh, I still get emails from LinkedIn mentioning how healthy my kidneys are.

Don’t buy everything at the same store. And STAY OUT OF MY TERRITORY!

I’ve seen all this at LiDL.