No one wants a frozen butthole

When someone thanks me for holding the door, I let them know I wasn’t holding open for them. I was holding it those people coming and point to someone way too far away to hold a door open for.

Hmm, maybe I didn’t plug that SSD back in. Everything is connected prop… Oh no…

Dude… Too soon.

It’s missing layer 8 with a cat slowly and intentionally pushing the stack over while looking the IT cat directly in the eyes as it finally topples over. Then complains that nothing’s working but also not providing any helpful information.

I assume if it’s on a burger it’s sliced cheese. Was is it white? Do they bleach it?

You need to give yourself more credit. You didn’t become a failure, it was within you the whole time; you were always a failure…

That concludes my Pep Talk®

You could be lucky and that the $50 thing in a 2 for the price of one sale, then it’s only gonna be $79.95

This one caught me off guard and hit the right spot-a.

Why is their three sevenths bigger than our three sevenths‽

I sure hope that 190 slider is also logarithmic

9 out of 10 dentists recommend it!

Bonjour

…But why male models?

Have you tried turning your phone upside down?

I wish you’d get outta my life and shut up.

Pedro Pascal is proud of his railings, and he makes them special for each individual.

He knows it’s a fantastic railing, and he’s truely and deeply sorrowful that it didn’t turn out to be the railing that was right for them.

Then there is a secondary superpower of taking the right medication for you, giving you the power to function like a regular person, mostly.

He only force chokes people with consent and who are into that

7‽

Those are rookie numbers, you gotta pump those numbers up!