According to French scientists, the best thing to wipe ones’ ass with is the neck of a well-downed gosling.
https://pluckypubs.blogspot.com/2007/06/rabelais-ultimate-arse-wiper.html
(not actually scientists but a character in 16th century writer Rabelais’ book.)
Drambuie is an old British honey and whisky liqueur.
You can even make something like it youself: https://www.seriouseats.com/diy-drambuie-make-your-own-honey-scotch-liqueur-recipe