cross-posted from: https://lemmy.ml/post/26365993

I’m the quiet, introverted one and I may be on the spectrum. I like to do my job and go home. I hate drama and drama queens and ignore people when they start gossiping. Many extroverts find that offensive and talk behind my back like teenagers do. This stupid drama is the only reason why I quit my job after finding a new one.

I agreed to stay 4 weeks with the company because some coworkers are actually grown ups, it is a breeze to work with them and I can use their experience to be a better professional.

Back to the immature ones: Past me would ignore their sarcastic and passive aggressive comments, which took a toll on me but now I have nothing to lose and I couldn’t care less what they think of me, meaning I started to answer back using their same tone and so sarcastically and passive aggressively as them: they yell at me accusing of doing something on purpose, I politely tell them to calm down and to seek help.

Most of my coworkers are women. Since I started answering back and being a jerk, they toned their b%tchiness way down, it is more pleasant to work here now.

I don’t understand why my coworkers treat me with some respect now that I’m being a jerk and I hate I have to be a jerk to be treated with a modicum of respect. I don’t know if I’m wrong but I think they have an idea of what a man is supposed to be and now that I fit their definition of a man, they leave me alone because they see in me something familiar to them.

I find it sad I have to be an ass to be treated with respect and I hope to find a workplace where I can be myself and work with no drama.

Is this something that’s going to happen no matter where I work?

  • sarah2653@lemmy.mlOPEnglish
    2·
    11 hours ago

    Now you’re engaging; and yes, with hostility, but at least there’s communication and connection.

    it’s not being a jerk that’s improved your situation, it’s matching communication styles with your teammates.

    do you know those couples where they only communicate yelling? Why would a sane person want that? It still doesn’t make any sense. To you engaging with hostility is better than not engaging but I still find it appalling and prefer silence and quietness over yelling and drama. Yelling is extremely draining.

    OTOH your post makes me understand how some people think, hopefully a very reduced number of people, but if this is how some of my coworkers communicate and expect me to communicate, quitting is still the right choice. This cannot be healthy on the long term.

    Going on, I’ll match my new coworkers’ communication style and volume, but it can get really ludicrous if 2 “adults” at the office start yelling at each other (reason why I prefer to simply disappear)

    Still baffled, because yours is a whole novel idea to me: angry communication, even toxic, aggressive and unpleasant is better than no communication. Not saying that I agree with it, but I’ll think about it when dealing with some of my coworkers.