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Cake day: July 9th, 2025

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  • I played a game called “smear the queer” as a closeted gay teen. When the LGBTQ+ community took the word ‘queer’ back, I resisted. It brought up terrible feelings in me. Turns out I had to do some inner work to heal what the world told me to believe about my own people. There was no other way I could be a proud gay man if I refused the label that gave our community our power back. If you want a word that feels better than ‘feminism,’ you’ll find endless external validation online. If you want to feel proud of being a man or worthy of the woman you marry, you’ll have to drown out that noise and look inward.